Knowing you
by Red Crescent
Summary: Chichi leads a normal life until she crosses him. The one she seems to know. The one who has searched for her. The one who knows her. Through him she learns to respect her life. And she understands her value. With everything she got. Until she finally can be with him. Forever. AU FIC Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Adventure
1. Prologue

**Hey guys**

**I came up with a sudden idea. So I was writing on that Story for the last year what made it impossible for me to focus on the others because I just wanted to present you this one here as soon as I finished it. And guess what, I did finish this in 10 very long chapters!**  
**So as a thank you for all the Reviews I got from my previous stories I want you to enjoy this one fully!**

**Please tell me, what you think as I appreciate and love your comments totally**.

**Reading them is what motivates me writing something as Special as "Knowing You". I love improving my skills in writing something. So let me improve further!**

**Every two weeks I'm going to post another chapter for all of you who like to follow my little tale...**

**Yours**  
**Red C**

**Disclaimer: Oh yeah...no.**

* * *

**Prologue**

_I never really thought about the way I would die. Or the day. I was sarcastic enough to laugh about the matter of me dying, although it was sure I would be gone eventually. Like everybody would. Life ends as it begin; the circle of life, never ending…and unstoppable._

_But as I was lying on the floor, feeling the blood ooze out of my wounds I suddenly was very sure of one thing: I didn't think I would have to die this painfully._

_The agony I felt burnt through my veins, but the pain wasn't strong enough to blow me unconscious. So I was lying there on the cold ground, waiting for the end to come, screaming, pleading for it to stop and yet it never did. I looked to my left and witnessed two shadows fighting with each other. My body shivered, I couldn't move my leg as it was fractured badly and the warm blood in addition to my freezing body made me sick to the stomach. Little did I know at that time, that my stomach was long gone, replaced by a hole I tried to close up in my last attempt. The only thing I felt was pain and a prickling feeling between my sticky fingers which tried to stop the blood from flowing. A burning sensation pulsed through my head like electricity and my heart beat to the tick of a clock only to slow down any second. A tormenting sound permanently ringed in my ear: I didn't understand that it was my own voice I heard, coming out into a sorrowful yell…  
But although I was hurt badly, almost dead and in the worst pain I have ever felt, I regretted nothing._

_Absolutely nothing._

_And as I finally started to lose consciousness, a familiar voice shouted my name and a warm hand stroked my head fanatically, lovingly, afraid. The voice sounded as if the person was standing far away from me, so very far away and yet so near._

_I couldn't help myself and smile as I closed my eyes for the last time._


	2. Every story needs a beginning

**One – Every story needs a beginning**

21th March. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was as sunny and warm as spring could be. My friends and I were just laughing minutes ago, before our ways separated into different directions and I went on alone, going back my long way straight up the hill. I somewhat hated the fact since I was little, that just my home had the longest way back; uphill at that. But that day, that very normal yet special day was absolutely different. I was content something good would be happening and not even my exhausting way was able to put me down. So very sure of the fact that this day had a special meaning, nothing seemed to be able to surprise me.

I had to learn very soon, just how wrong I was.

I was just about to climb the last stairs to my father's dojo as I spotted a figure in the shadows of a tree about 200 meters away from me. It staggered and tried to hold its weight on a small stick. At first I thought it was someone from the streets, a drunkard; but this person was way too young. And as the sun hit his face, I saw the blood on his cheek and his shattered clothes. Normally you would watch him, but ignore it. Normally for sure. Normally I wouldn't probably help him with all I've got but call the police. Normally…But today was different.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at his horrible state.

_What in the word had happened to him?_ I questioned myself over and over as my feet actually started to run to him. Automatically. I didn't even know what I was doing until he looked directly at me with his deep black and tired eyes and collapsed to the ground on his knees. I had thrown my bag away while I was running and kneeled down beside him, trying to help holding his weight. He coughed up blood and leaned his head against my shoulder. He was awfully near, but I didn't care. He whispered a word I didn't understand before his body went limp and lost its last strength. His spiky hair was dusted; and dirt in combination with blood was hanging all over him, I noticed. My heart beat wildly and like crazy right now and was the only thing I could hear this very moment. Except for his low und irregular breathing.

I didn't know what to do now, this guy was heavy enough for me and about two heads bigger than me. I was alone up here and my dad was training with some of his trainees. The only option I could think of: Carrying him by myself. The reason I wanted to help him anyway, I didn't know. Honestly, it was as much a mystery to me as to anybody else. But my body was moving on its own, I was doing it out of some sort of instinct. I thought to myself, that this special day was at fault, this very strange day in March.  
I wasn't behaving like myself since morning…

With everything I got, I tried to hold this guy up. His face twisted – I presumed he must have been in some kind of pain. Well, my face twisted too, I was undergoing some difficulties by carrying him. I was sorry for him having pain, and sorry for me being unable to make him feel more comfortable. But on the other hand, like I said, I was having trouble too.

Sweat was already building up on my forehead as I started to climb up the first stair. I just concentrated on my feet as I didn't want to see the remaining 238 steps in front of me. My muscles ached as I finished a little more than the half. But then I had to give up. His bodyweight was too much of a burden to me as I was only a girl. A small one at that. I seriously thought about calling the police now and cursed myself for acting strange…

"Chichi!" Someone suddenly yelled from behind me. I recognized this voice even without having to look. I thanked god for this coincidence before my short build friend halted right beside me. Not only was he short in height, but short on hair too. I smiled at him while his worried face firstly looked at me, then he shifted his gaze to the man on my shoulders and right back at me.

"What in the world are you doing?!" He wanted to know and I didn't like the tone in his voice so I snapped "I'm plugging some flowers, you dummy!" Yet I failed being entirely stressed out. My sarcastic remark wasn't as powerful as I wanted it to be, as my voice was filled with exhaustion. Krillin just ignored it perfectly and took the stranger from my shoulders. I was happy to have him away from me, as my back slowly started to hurt. I looked at Krillin who lifted this man – even though he was about four heads higher than he was – with ease.

"Do you know this guy?" Krillin wanted to know, but I only shook my head no and said: "Do me one favor and bring him up for me, we have on spare room ready on the left side. I am going to call the doc."  
"You want to help him yourself? Why not just leaving him alone or call the cops?"  
"Krillin, I'm absolutely not going to see how this man dies right before my eyes. He doesn't look that frightening to me anyway. So stop asking me stupid questions and do as I say."  
"Right, right…" the small man admitted defeat and turned around to climb the remaining steps to my home.

Before I was sure he wouldn't dump the hurt man as soon as I was out of his sight I yelled after him "Tell my father to bring some new clothes and prepare something to eat. I'm sure he needs to build his strength up after he came to. I don't think he is hurt too badly, but I will have the doc tell us, just to make sure. I'll be back as soon as possible!"

Then I turned around, jumped down the stairs, picked up my bag again and run all the way down to my destination. I ignored the looks on anybody's faces as I run past some passengers and slammed the door of a rather small praxis open, only to look into the surprised eyes of doctor Briefs. She jumped up as she saw the bloody shirt and my sweaty face. I suddenly knew why everybody looked at me the way they did. I must have looked terrible.

"What happened? Is everything alright?" doctor Briefs asked me while she already had started examining my whole body. I shook my head no and caught my breath as I started to summarize what just happened. "A man collapsed before my eyes; he was hurt and covered in blood. His state looks bad. He's about 1.85 meters high and maybe about 25 years old? I can't tell for sure. He had lost his consciousness before I was able to ask him any information. Krillin is bringing him to my place this very moment. Bulma, I need you to look at his wounds. I don't think they seem serious, but it would be better if you could look at him directly."  
"So, this is not your blood?"  
I shook my head no again. Doctor Briefs breathed out in relieve and looked intensely at me.  
"Let me get my things, I will follow you and look at him." She said in a calm voice and hurried to scatter everything before she started to ran after me, back to the place of the happening.

* * *

When we entered the house, almost breathless, and got into the room I had told Krillin about, my father had already prepared some new clothes and looked at me with big and worried eyes. I just said that we could talk later and that this was NOT my blood he saw on my clothes. The reason he wouldn't question any further was due to two things: He was used to me doing the things I wanted without thinking, but trusted me completely; second was he still had some trainees he had to teach. He was busy until later. He even was used to me bringing injured animals home; so this situation was almost like those times. The only difference: I had brought home a human this time.

A rather poor human who twisted in some kind of agony on the bed he was lying on.

Doctor Briefs started to examine his body without saying anything while I just sat down beside her and watched the face of this man. And although he was hooking his eyebrows, sweating and heaving…. I couldn't help myself but be fascinated by his facial expressions, as I had the opportunity to look at him closely now. His skin looked so soft; his cheeks were flushed but kind of adorable. I felt like a sadist looking at him with joy while he obviously felt like hell but I couldn't help myself. I behaved like a marionette, doing movements that weren't my own but at the same time were. I couldn't describe the feeling that filled me out.

Brushing with my fingertips over his brows and his forehead I felt my heart dancing right out of my chest. I knew he suffered, and I just wanted to blow his pain away, but I couldn't stop touching him lightly. "Nothing serious." Bulma suddenly said and took me out of my strange trance. She laid away her stethoscope while looking at me with her calm yet serious expression.

"Five of his ribs are broken, I took care of that already and made a bandage. Minor cuts on arms, legs, and stomach, one bigger cut on his back, going right down his spiral. As far as I can tell no inner organs were injured, except for his stomach, as you said he coughed up blood. But other than that he looks fine." I breathed out in relieve. Goodness, everything seemed alright….well…mostly.  
"But the blow to his head…"Bulma doubted suddenly and my relieved smile vanished as soon as it came.  
"What about it?"  
"Well, I can't tell for sure, maybe his brain suffered some great damage. What consequences may be, you will only see when he wakes up." My heart fluttered to the ground like a stone.  
"I gave him a shot to sedate him, he won't be having any pain for the rest of the day." Bulma stood up, ready to leave. "Thanks." I said to her while looking at the now tranquil face of the spiky haired man before me.  
"No problem dear, I will check up on him again tomorrow morning. Call me if anything happens while I'm gone." She patted my shoulder and left the room.

I on the other hand continued to stay by the side of the man who kept sleeping, his even breathing calmed me down a bit. Why was I overreacting anyway?

Brushing over his head I wondered just what was wrong with me. Obviously, I wasn't the only one who wondered what happened to my usual behavior. My father leaned against the doorframe and took back my attention. I haven't even checked the watch and didn't realize how long I was sitting beside the bed, without feeling the time pass.

"Come out now, sweetie and let him rest. You haven't left his side for almost three hours."  
That shocked me. I had been staying for so long? Yet my body refused moving.  
"But…" I argued effortlessly and looked from the man to the gentle face of my father and knew what I had to do. "Huh….alright." I admitted defeat and left the room, only to take one last look before I closed the door.

My father smiled and patted my head affectingly before he pushed me towards the bathroom. "Just take a bath and rest, we will talk later. And just between us two: you smell." He winked at me and left me alone again, his chuckle following him down the floor while talking to himself "My baby girl is one of a kind…"

He was right with that. I was behaving odd. But something pushed me towards that man. As I had seen him walking there it felt as if a hand pulled me towards him. Maybe it was out of the sympathy I felt. Maybe it was even the curiosity I had as I was wondering about his destiny, or maybe it was just the simple fact that he practically landed right in front of my feet. But maybe it was the way he looked at me. I actually had the feeling I knew him all along. He didn't seem like a stranger to me, more like…someone I had met before. Maybe I had without even knowing…It was just that something had triggered inside of my head as I saw him in his earlier state. I just had to help him, no matter what.

* * *

Later in the night, when I was lying between the soft material of my bed I couldn't sleep a wink. My mind automatically turned around the person three rooms away from mine. It was hilarious: Why in the world wasn't I able to stop thinking about him? It was weird…

I was weird.

I decided to drink a glass of water and stood up to walk down to the kitchen, trying to distract myself.

On my way down then, there happened two things I can't understand until today:  
First was, my eyes were playing tricks on me and I actually thought I saw a shadow walking through my house.  
Second was, I never reached my destination called kitchen.

That confused me the most.

I was so sure to land in the kitchen that I had no time to focus on my feet. So when I actually did NOT land in the kitchen and watched into the dark room where a certain person was lying in, I was sure that I had gone nuts.

I sighed and slapped my cheeks to calm down already. This guy was affecting me even more than I wanted to admit. I shook my head and wanted to leave again when I noticed, that he was turning around more than I wanted him to. The way he threw himself from one side to the other made me worried of his wounds. I presumed he had a horrible nightmare. He was talking in his sleep and half of his bed sheet was lying on the ground. His chest glittered in the soft moonlight which came in through the window – he was sweating heavily.

I closed the door behind me and sat down on his bed after I recollected the sheet from the floor. Touching his forehead I noticed his high fever. Poor guy, I thought to myself as I tried to cool him down with some cold water on a cloth which I put on his head. Brushing through his unusual hairstyle I tried to sooth him and hummed a song my father had learned from my mother and which he always sang when I had been sick as a kid. It calmed him down and his shifting stopped almost completely. Smiling at his quiet state, I felt how a stone fell from my chest. It relieved me, seeing him feeling better. And I couldn't stop myself anymore from falling asleep as soon as I stopped worrying.

* * *

When the sun hit my eyes and tickled my nose I woke up. My head was hurting as my back was too and I wondered why I wasn't feeling comfortable although I had rested all night. Then it came to me: I wasn't in my own room! In fact, I was sitting on the ground, my head lying on a bed that didn't belong to me. Well, practically…theoretically was it mine…  
My head snapped up and I looked at the sleeping form of the man I had found yesterday afternoon. Thank goodness he was still sleeping. I would have been utterly embarrassed if he had found me here lying beside him. And he didn't even know who I was! No, no, no, no, no…

No!

No good idea.

_Hurry, stand up, go back to your room and pretend nothing of that sort happened! Bulma's going to come by pretty soon, so hurry up, change your clothes, comb your hair and make some coffee! Today's Saturday and I have no classes to attend…Great!_

Was the plan I had in mind.

I didn't even know how fast I could run from one room to another without making any noise until I slammed my door close behind me. Breathing in and out I tried to calm myself down again and started to make my plan into reality. About thirty minutes later I was already in the kitchen – I found my way without any problems this time – and slurped my fresh coffee. My dad was out training already – he was a workaholic – and I watched the clock while waiting for Bulma.

It was half past ten when the door finally rang.  
"Good morning, Chichi!" the tired face of the doc was showing and she had trouble breathing.  
"Morning, Bulma! Everything alright? You look exhausted…"  
"Well…those stairs…early morning…" she looked at the cup of coffee in my hands and her eyes showed some kind of envy. "Want some?" I questioned her and earned a smile. "With pleasure."  
She sat down on the table while I poured her some coffee into a mug. "So…how was the night?" she asked me nonchalantly and I froze.

_Behave like usual…just like usual…  
_  
"Well…he had a fever in fact. But I think it went down through the night – I put some cool pads on his head to hold the temperature down. His wounds didn't reopen as far as I looked, and he slept through the night."  
"Anything more?"  
"No….nothing more…" I showed the simplest face I could make. Bulma smiled. "Well then, let's check up on our patient!"

I let Bulma lead the way and followed her like a little puppy. I didn't want to be the first to enter his room as it would make me feel uncomfortable as soon as I saw his face. But if Bulma would go inside before me I hoped my inner self would behave properly. She opened the door and I went in after her. The man was still sleeping. He had a pretty good sleep, I guessed and envied him. He didn't register the things that were happening around him and was off into dreamland.

I suddenly stopped in the middle of going inside the room completely as I forgot the water Bulma wanted me to prepare.  
"I'm back in a second; I forgot the hot water…" I sighed and slapped my inner self for my slow brain sometimes. Bulma just smiled and nodded while she started to examine the stranger. In the meantime did I jump back down the stairs into the kitchen, got the water ready in ten only minutes, whistled to myself a melody and went back up the stairs only to hear a loud noise while I doing so.

My head snapped to the sound and followed its way right into the room I just went away from. _What the…?  
_Letting go of the pot I ran, ignoring the water that splashed down my staircase. With my socks on I slipped around the corner, held me in place in the doorframe and pushed myself towards the opening only to see a shivering and shocked Bulma lying on her back having a dark figure hovering above her, holding her neck in place.

The tension inside the room almost made me breathless, but the way this man shivered made me realize that he must be completely confused.  
Well who wouldn't be confused…  
He didn't look at me, his bandaged and naked torso heaved heavily, the hair on his arms was standing up; so was mine.

"Hey…" I tried to make myself noticeable. He flinched after hearing my voice, but didn't move an inch, nor did he look at me.  
"I said hey." I insisted with a tougher voice, wanting him to look at me. He still refused to look, but he talked.  
"Where am I and who are you?"

I swear my feet were turning to jelly there, but I would never say that aloud. I really, really, really behaved odd in his presence…

"My name's Chichi, and the woman you choke there on the floor inside of MY house is Doctor Bulma Briefs. And who are you?" I tried to get to know yet he still ignored me.  
"How did I get here?" he ignored my question.  
"You collapsed before my house, yesterday afternoon. I took you here to recover."  
"Why."  
Why? Good question; I didn't know that either. Why in the world did I help him? Obviously I took him too long to answer his question, so the cold gaze he suddenly shot to me, made me gulp. Not only because he surprised me there, but his eyes were…were so…

"Why?" he interrupted my thought with an icy tone in his voice although his eyes suddenly became very warm as soon as he finally looked at me. I answered truthfully as I tried not to lose myself in his eyes. My voice got higher and louder as I explained everything to him as good as I could.

"I-I don't know, okay? I just couldn't leave you alone there, you were half dead! And you lost consciousness as soon as I tried to help you while you threw up blood like a maniac! Well, sorry for not asking anything! Sorry for not ignoring the fact you were hurt! And sorry for not thinking this ridiculous thought of shaking you awake to ask you! And for god's sake just let Bulma go already, she just wanted to examine your body! Heavens, just how are you showing your gratitude you good for nothing, thickheaded, stupid…someone!"

And there my temper snapped…I whished I could stop that side of mine but unfortunately this temper was practically characterizing me. I couldn't let go of it, even if I wanted to.

Bulma's eyes went wide, as his eyes did too. I couldn't tell if he was just surprised, impressed or irritated. I didn't hope for the third option. His grip on Bulma's neck went loose as he looked at her "Is that true?"  
She nodded as good as she could, and he let her go completely.

As fast as she could did she try to stand up, only to scatter away and hid behind me. The stranger looked rather vulnerable the way he kneeled there on the floor. I wanted to be a little softer on him, but my temper didn't let me.

"Now, you should apologize first and then swing your ass right back into bed! Truth speaking, I should throw you out for your behavior this instant! But you didn't do anything wrong. You're probably confused, so I'll let you get away. But it would be much more nicer if you could tell me your name, as I told you mine already. Then we could start all over again. How does that sound?"  
"I don't know."  
"You don't know? What in the world is there to not know about?! It's not that hard to get to know someone, you just have to say your name! Look, I'm trying to be nice here, so be a little happy about it!"  
"You misunderstand. I don't know. My name, I don't know."

He stood up and smiled rather sad while holding his hurting rips. _Oops…  
_  
"The blow to his head." Bulma whispered into my ear from behind. "It must be because of that."

I gulped and stepped over to him to help him sit down on the bed again. Touching his elbow was like a struck of lightning. Goodness! "Oh well…if you don't know then there's nothing to be done about….uh…." I stammered and he looked at me as if he was having the same question in his mind as I did. I looked down to evade his eyes. "Well then… how about I name you for the time being? Just until you remember anything? How does that sound?" He smiled boyishly and my heart jumped out of my ribcage. "Sounds good, I think."

"Well then…let me think about it while Bulma here is looking at your wounds, alright?" And the blue haired woman slowly came back from behind and neared herself. Her hands were shaking while she picked up her bag again and said with a shaking voice that he should lie down. I would have been surprised too, if he had attacked me like that. I heard him say his sorry while I scanned trough my brain which name I should give him.

I remembered hearing a name in my dream last night.

_Soki….Biku…Rico…Loco….Moku….Goku!_ _Goku that was it! Or was it….Poku? But….Poku sounds weird; I will just call him Goku then…Goku… _I smiled proudly to myself.  
_  
_"Done." Bulma ended her examination after some time and I smiled at him.  
"Feeling better?"  
"Well, I never felt bad from the start."  
"Lying doesn't bring you anywhere, mister, but I will let it pass. And I have a name for you: From now on we will call you Goku, alright?"

The man with his new given name grinned – unbelievable that someone with such a cute smile was just trying to threaten me minutes ago.  
"Sounds rather fitting!" he agreed but suddenly flinched and held his head.  
"Everything alright?" Bulma and I asked out of one mouth and he just shrugged it off. "Small pain, nothing serious." I breathed out in relieve.

_Yeah, yeah…never felt bad from the start…  
_  
"Alright! How about I make you something to eat? I'm sure you're pretty hungry right?"

He scratched his head looking a bit embarrassed. I took it as a yes. Bulma said her goodbye to him and left the room as fast as possible. I presumed she was still a little scared of him. Well, who wouldn't?

Standing in the kitchen only moments later I started to heat up the food I already prepared yesterday while I saw how Bulma drank with shaking hands the rest of her coffee.  
"That was….surprising." She tried to smile and I patted her shoulder.

"Calm down, Bulma. In his state, even I can tackle him down. I didn't learn material arts for nothing. You weren't in great danger at all."  
"No, you don't understand…his eyes…they weren't right. They were different. He looked like an empty shell, Chi. As if he was behaving on instinct…" she shivered. I frowned.

No idea what she was talking about, but I was keeping it in mind. She looked at her watch and suddenly hurried out of the house, yelling "Got another appointment, thanks for the coffee!" and I gazed after her. Seemed like she was busy and overcame her state already….

Great…now I was alone with _Goku _for the time being. My heart fluttered and I silenced it immediately. I really didn't understand why he was having such an effect on me. It was true: he was good looking, had a nice smile – the thing with his "double" personality putting aside – and the air seemed to crackle around me whenever I was near him.  
Yeah, it then sounded just like my food that was boiling over, sizzling and burning and.…  
"Ah!"

"I'm sorry!" I apologized for the thousandth time and looked how he gulped down one bowl after another, smiling. "I didn't watch out, and then it boiled over, and now it must taste burnt, and if you want, I can make you another soup, and you don't have to force yourself to eat it!"

The bowl was empty once again and he grinned at me gently. "I think I never had food that tasted this good. Don't worry I'm not forcing myself."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, really." My heart skipped a beat.

Now I didn't know what to say anymore. After what felt like five minutes I hurriedly stood up and scattered the things. "Uh….I'd better let you rest. If you need anything, call me. I'm downstairs…"

And away I was.

My heart wasn't able to calm down again and I started to clean up the dishes. I cursed myself over and over in the meantime for being such a fool.

"Morning sweetie!" My father suddenly yelled while walking through the kitchen. So he was back for the time being.  
"Morning…." I sighed.  
"What is wrong? Your face is red! Are you having a fever?"  
"No dad…" I sighed again.  
"You don't sound happy today, did something happen?"  
"No nothing…" The third sigh I kept to myself.

He didn't look as if he believed me. Well, I was lying indeed. But I didn't think it would be a good idea telling my father what had happened this morning. What happened in this room stays in this room! Luckily my father was content as soon as I threw a smile at him. When somebody was smiling, everything was good. That's what he thought. And he went on to teach some more students of his before he had a meeting with a good friend in town later on. Meaning, I was all alone the _whole day_ with Goku. I blushed.  
_Oh god, show me how to behave normal..._


	3. One drop of water

**Two – One drop of water **

I was reading a book upside down as I followed Goku with my eyes while he walked up and down our living-room. It had been only two days and Goku was already walking around! I couldn't describe his way of recovering. Was he a superhero? A monster? A supernatural being? A human with special abilities?

Basically I didn't care what he was, but I was happy he was feeling better already. How he was able to walk with five broken rips, I still didn't know. His stomach must have been better, too. He had been eating quite a lot. And his bruises? I had trouble seeing them already!

He picked up the picture of my family as he looked at it closely. I had the urge to tell him about it, the silence in here was killing my nerves, I swear.

"I was about six months old when my father wanted to take this photograph." I explained to him while I stepped to his side kind of nervous.

Goku kept looking at the three faces my family contained of. Since my mother died it was only my father and me.

"My mother died about two months later." He looked at me with a sorry in his eyes and I smiled shyly. "It was long ago, I'm not sad about it anymore. My father and I are happy. I believe my mother would never want us to cry after her for so long." I laughed a little to stop Goku showing such a sad expression. "It was twenty-three years ago, I'm not sad anymore, honestly. So stop looking like that."

He replaced the frame and turned his body towards me fully. Somehow this was rather…I didn't know how to describe it. My body shook fiercely as I awaited something from him, but he only just walked past me and sat down on the couch.

"You look just like her." He announced and I turned around with a red head only to smile at him again. "Thank you! I'm glad I look more like her! If I would look like my father I wouldn't know what to do." My joke wasn't that good but he had the sensibility to smile at me. I hid my shaking hands behind my back.

"Well, I think it's not important what you look like, but what's inside your heart."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I kept looking at him.

"I thank you very much for helping me, Chichi. And I'm sorry for my behavior two days ago. I can be quite aggressive it seems…." His eyes were radiating and I knew he meant every word. My knees were shaking so I had to sit down.  
"Is it possible for you to recollect the things that were happening before I found you?" My curiosity was at it's maximum.

He thought for a while. "Not really, no. I know I wasn't alone. And I remember searching for something, maybe even someone. But then all that is coming to my mind is a rather loud crash and me seeing someone running towards me." I blushed.

"So you remember that?" He chuckled and brushed over his rips lightly.

"Does it hurt?" I questioned automatically but he just shook his head. "No, no…it's just a little itchy, that's all."

"Hm…should I make us something small to eat? A snack maybe? I'm not busy right now and it's rather boring just staying inside the house doing nothing, don't you think? And after that I could show you the house. Maybe it distracts you from your wounds."

_And it distracts me from looking at you. My fingers want to touch you and I don't know why you look so attractive to me although I don't even know you!  
_  
"That sounds good to me, thank you."

When I entered the kitchen, I thought my heart was about to stop. This man was throwing around with his pheromones and each was hitting me right in the core!  
Preparing the cake and something to drink I was so occupied in doing the things I did, that my eyes were playing pranks on me again.

I actually just thought I saw a shadow pass me – just like the shadow I saw last night. Turning around rather quickly I had to witness absolutely nothing. I frowned. Then a jingle beside my ear took my attention. But there was absolutely nothing except for myself! Strange… Maybe I was seeing and hearing things because I couldn't calm down. Wouldn't be the first time. I saw shadows pass me every now and then. Nothing to be afraid of. It was just an illusion anyway.

But the jingle was new.

Goku looked distressed once I entered the room again.  
"Did something happen? You look pale." I automatically checked his temperature on his forehead – completely forgetting the effect he had on me – and flinched as his skin met mine. Awfully fast did he grip my hand with his own and held it in place, away from his forehead. "Everything's fine. Don't concern yourself with it."  
"But…"  
"You're too nice. Stop worrying about me. Nothing's wrong." He said gently, but his words were kind of cruel, too.

I knew myself I shouldn't be that worried but I couldn't help it, damn it!

His thumb drew small circles on the back of mine almost unnoticeable before he let go slowly as if he didn't want to let go at all. I breathed in deeply. _Focus, Chichi! Focus!_  
"Well then…"I stammered. He looked just as confused as I felt. "Let's just eat the snack and then I'm going to show you around."

* * *

"What kind of profession is your father doing?" Goku asked rather unbelieving as he stood right in the middle of our dojo – the widest, biggest, largest, greatest room in my home – while holding his hurting rips.

I knew my house was big, but it was normal for me, so…it made me smile to see Goku was kind of overwhelmed although he just couldn't accept that he was hurt.  
"Martial Arts. He's teaching his technique he learned from a great master in the mountains when he was young."

"What kind of technique?" Goku caught interest in my story.  
"Well…basically it's just a defensive one, not one to actually attack. You protect yourself with it. My father always tells me how proud he is to have been the only one to actually have learned from his master directly. He was his only pupil. And now he's able to teach it to others himself. Even I learned some."

Goku smiled as I made a small Kata-movement.

"Actually this man was my great-grandfather. My father had met my mother when he was taught by him. But I think this man was kind of….crazy." I stifled a laugh.

When the both of us sat down to enjoy the warm breeze of spring I watched how a cat balanced itself on our fence while Goku looked to the sky.  
"Why would you say you think your great-grandfather was crazy?"  
"Well…how should I put this? He always told my father he learned his "Shadow-Style" from the shadows itself."  
"Shadows?"

"Yeah." I smiled already. "But not the shadows you get when the sun hits you. No. He was talking about the shadows you can't see. Those kind of shadows which haunt you while you're sleeping. Those shadows who are the guardians of your dreams. In the day you are being protected by them – you know like angles – although you can't see them. And in the night they ghost around in your dreams, to protect you from any harm that comes from the world outside of our materialistic world. And sometimes, when someone's sleeping right beside you safe and sound you can see them…." I tried to make a mystic voice but failed completely.

Goku lifted one of his brows. "I have never heard of any of this."

"Oh but that's not even the craziest part. Listen: He even said that some of those shadows transform into humans once they die. And only those reincarnated shadows are able to travel from the human world to the shadow world. But unfortunately they don't know they were shadows once. So…there actually never was proof."

"Hm…" Goku hummed more to himself as he stared off into nowhere again. The sun was bathing our figures in an orange-yellow light and I lifted my face to the sinking round ball.

"So you think your great-grandfather was crazy because he believed this story?"  
"No. I think he was crazy because he said I was a present from the shadow-world…"

Goku's head turned to me. "Why would he say this?"

I smiled a sad smile. "Basically because my mother was unable to bear any child…"

As I didn't want to explain this story further I kept silent. And Goku understood the wink as he didn't question anything more.

* * *

That night I kept remembering the afternoon with Goku and sighed. Telling this story made me realize that I actually was seeing shadows every now and then. Since he appeared I saw them even more. I still have the feeling it's just an illusion. But Goku was the first one to not laugh about this silly legend. He was the first to look as if he believed it…He believed me.

He was just accepting it. Why have I told him anyway? Because I wanted to? Maybe…

I didn't know what it was but Goku's appearance was like a drop of water in a bouquet. Rippling everything up. My life. My home. My body. Even my way of thinking.  
What if those shadows were real? What made that out of me? What was I? Who was I? Well, obviously I was still me. But where did I come from?

* * *

"Your body's almost perfectly healed…" Bulma muttered to herself while examining Goku's rips one last time. It had only been two weeks and he was as good as new. His grin was proof enough that he felt extraordinarily well.

The frown on her face was almost hilarious as she tried to understand why in god's name this man was healing differently than others. Well, I questioned myself the same thing, but I was happy enough he even _was_ healing. I didn't care how. I just cared that he did. The only thing still missing was his memory…or more like a part of it, containing the reason why he was here – except the thing he was searching something or someone - where he came from and what his name was.

He remembered some other names and faces and dreamed about places he must have seen before but I couldn't help him in any of this. I didn't know the people he was talking about and the places he had been to: I was absolutely clueless.

Bulma packed her things away and massaged the root of her nose. "I don't know how you did that but there's no reason for me to check up on you anymore. It's almost like a miracle, but you are in perfect shape."

"Isn't that great, Goku?" I clapped my hands and smiled excitingly. He grinned and scratched the back of his head.  
"Well….except for my still missing memory I think it's great!"

"To celebrate this, you absolutely have to stay for dinner, Bulma!" I offered the blue-haired and earned a nod.  
"I don't have anything to do after all. My day is over for today. And if I can taste your meals I'm staying either way!" She hugged me close and I hopped out of the room to start to cook.

I heard Goku speak to Bulma after I left shortly but I didn't hear what he wanted to know. I was just happy he was alright.

My father stomped past me and smiled as he wanted to take Goku with him to exercise a little. As it seemed, Goku was a talent in martial arts as well, although he didn't know why he was able to perform it. But his movements were proof enough that he had learned it once. And despite the fact that Bulma told Goku not to overwork himself he still kept training with my father every now and then.

Even Krillin – previously known as _my_ best friend – started to favorite Goku. I somehow got the feeling his existence was becoming greater to us than all of us wanted to admit.

And what he did to me was almost a mystery.

I never was the kind of girl to accept everything without thinking about it. I always believed every little thing that happened to my life had a deeper meaning to it. So Goku suddenly popping up must have had a reason too. I just didn't get what kind of. The shadows I saw kept repeating, and my mind was darkened by it.

Having Goku near was beautiful, although we still didn't know anything of him. His existence was just pure bliss; it was almost as if he was radiating something out that made you content with anything. You were permanently smiling, even without a reason.

Yet those shadows were circulating around me like a warning and I soon started to accept that they weren't just illusions. I had a feeling in my chest that whispered to me over and over again, that I was not the person I thought I was. I was not the child of my father, I didn't have the same blood as he did.

"Hey, Chi!" Goku took me back to reality and I shook off those thoughts I kept thinking day by day. He stopped himself from asking whatever he wanted to ask and his facial expression showed worry. "Everything alright? You look pale."

His hand landed on my forehead as he checked my temperature.

I didn't know exactly when it happened, but the both of us grew close without even realizing it. It just happened and touching each other had become like a tradition. I smiled up at him as I wanted to stop him from worrying.

"I was just daydreaming, don't interrupt me!" I joked and saw those said shadows right behind him. I gulped but covered my surprise. "What is it you wanted to know?"

The shadows disappeared.

"Uh…" he turned around with a frown and looked back at me. "I wanted to show you something." He tried to grin but his playfulness wasn't really convincing. Did I distract him just now?  
"Show me something? What?"  
"Come!" and he tugged me along; grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

I felt my cheeks heating up and my heartbeat quicken. I didn't behave like the normal 23-year old woman I was. I felt like a giggling girl in the middle of a mass of butterflies, flying around and covering me in various colors.

We stepped outside the house into the garden where the rest was already standing. They didn't even realize we were coming over.  
"What in the world is it?" I asked rather annoyed now and followed Goku's finger up which pointed into the sky. My mouth fell open as I saw that.  
"What…in the world…is _that_?" I repeated my question as I watched how an awfully lot of meteors were painting the dawning sky.

"I don't care what it is, it's beautiful…" Bulma whispered and everybody agreed.

Except for me. I didn't like this at all.

Fear was crawling up and down my spine immediately. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't like it. It was like a bad omen. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" Goku questioned me as he squeezed my hand he still held. I looked him into his eyes and shook my head no.  
"No, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just a little surprised, I haven't expected this." I looked towards the sparkling sky.

"It's….unnatural around here for such a phenomena to occur." I shook his hand off and wrapped my arms around my body after a minute. "But it's still getting chilly. I'm back inside if you search for me."

Leaving the group and a confused Goku behind, I walked back into the kitchen and drank a glass of water quickly. My throat felt awfully dry. I had a slight headache and wondered just what in the world was wrong with me.

* * *

"Chichi, your grades are dropping dramatically!"

_Oh shut up….who cares? It's just politics…._

Was what I thought while my university-teacher whined around and walked up and down her office. I just rolled with my eyes. Yeah I know that my grade was going down but it really was just politics. I _hated_ this class! It was boring and it was not the class I wanted to graduate with, for god's sake!

"Can't you try to learn?" my teacher begged as she sat down. "You have so much potential, why wasting it? Your grades weren't that bad at the beginning…is something pressuring you? Do you have private matters that hold you back?"

Goodness, this woman was driving me mad! The world was not specially turning around her stupid class! How come she thought I would care about that?

"I know my grades were better at the beginning, but honestly: I just didn't concentrate while writing my essay. You don't have to exaggerate! I'm not stupid or anything…one makes mistakes once in awhile!"  
"That might be true but your mistakes were like…I didn't even know one person was able to make them! And honestly I didn't think _you_were able to make them! It's almost as if you didn't write it at all!" Her eyes grew wide. "You did write it, didn't you?"

"Of course I wrote it! I was just not behaving like myself, maybe. I also do have things I have to think about. My concentration's not endless!"

She sighed. "Alright. I will let it slide. But you have to be careful. You're one of our top students, we don't want you to forget that. Think about your future."

"Oh yeah, thank you. Pressuring me is very helpful."

"I know you might think badly of us but you have to believe me when I say we only think about you and your future."

_And about your damn reputation…._

Leaving the office half an hour later I was welcomed by some squealing girls who talked about a guy excitedly and rolled with my eyes for the thousandth time today as I left my university through the big front door.

A familiar shout took my attention to the end of the campus and I suddenly knew why those girls were giggling so baldly.

Goku stood there nonchalantly in the sun and grinned at me sweetly while his hands vanished inside of his pockets – I bought him some clothes; this poor guy had nothing else to wear. I couldn't help myself but smile at him as my footsteps quickened and automatically moved towards him. Just like the day I found him hurt on the streets.

"What are you doing here?"

_Voice, calm down!  
_  
"I was walking around in town and tried to remember anything but somehow I landed here." He grinned.

"Did you find anything while searching?"

"Well, the only thing I found so far that's worth to find was you but other than that…." He shook his head still smiling. "Nope, nothing else."  
I blushed at his words. "Well…." I stammered. "You will remember something sooner or later."

"Honestly, I'm not keen about remembering anything." He looked at some girls who were whispering. They stopped talking as soon as he gazed at them and just stared back. This was kind of getting embarrassing…

"Why not?" I wondered, ignoring the others around me. He lowered his face until we stood nose to nose. Having him so near was almost taking my breath away. I knew he had an effect on me but that this effect was _this_ big…

"Well…" he quietly said and I held my breath. "…I'm perfectly happy as it is. I somehow have the feeling forgetting my past was the best thing that could have happened."

"Why do you think so? Your past is what basically formed your character. I don't think forgetting is very grateful." I didn't even realize that I started to whisper.

"I think my present is forming me and I somehow know that's the way I always thought. And the reason I'm not sad about forgetting must be because I've met you on the way."

"But…" I had trouble catching air. "…you told me you have the feeling you were searching for something…maybe even someone. What about him? Or….her?" I was very quiet by now.

"I said that?" his brows shot up in wonder as he straightened his back again. He inclined his head, pouted a little and then suddenly smiled. "Well, maybe I found that someone already!"

"You did?"

He grinned at me. "Well, maybe…" His answer shook me to the core. He did? Found someone? But, who? How? What?

My face must have looked hilarious because Goku suddenly burst out into laugher.  
"Don't look like that! I was just joking!"

It was the first time I heard him laugh so hard and I couldn't help myself but giggle unsurely with him, when suddenly a shadow emerged from the ground behind him and just stood there unmoving. The air in my lungs stocked and I started to cough hard.

Those stupid things absolutely had the talent to ruin every single mood!

"You okay?" he smiled and patted my back gently. I nodded reassuringly yet the shadow didn't leave Goku's side. Cold sweat automatically ran down my spine and I couldn't move my eyes away from the black spot.

_As if my day wouldn't be strange enough!  
_  
I suddenly felt Goku stiffen and he leaned down to my ear. "Is there something behind me?"

"Wha-?" I looked at him startled and grabbed his arm. "Why would you ask that?"

_Please say you see them! Please say I'm not the only one going nuts!  
_  
"Because your eyes are shifting from me to a spot behind me all the time. Is everything alright?"

"Oh…" I didn't even hide my disappointment. "Uh…I think I just saw a shadow." I took the truth to make a joke out of it, but my smile didn't really reach my heart.

Goku didn't smile either and I knew it was time to go home as we weren't getting anywhere now. Taking a few steps I signalized him it was time to walk on. We continued talking about this and that but the shadow didn't disappear.

* * *

My mind was a mess after that.

It had been a mess before but after that incident I was even more confused and scared as ever before. I followed Goku with my eyes nonstop. He even was laughing at me because I was unable to stop looking at him. He tipped my forehead, telling me that I should stop frowning but I just couldn't. The black fog behind him just didn't go away at all.

And when he told us he was going to bed I couldn't help myself but follow him until the both of them vanished inside of his room.

What did that thing want? Why was it even here? Why was it pestering Goku?

A jingle near my ear took my attention to my own room-door as I was lying in my bed, unable to even close my eyes, thinking about my day. The worst day ever since!

I stood up as soon as I heard the noise. It jingled again…and again…a third time, a forth. Stepping out of the room I followed it and it wasn't really surprising as I stood before Goku's room. So the source of the sound was coming from here? I gulped.

_Just what in the world is it today?!  
__  
_I checked my watch. It was three o'clock in the morning. It ringed permanently by now and I didn't know where I should turn to first. I wondered where my father was and why nobody else heard the tinkle except for me. But then I thought it had something to do with the shadows. And even here I was the only one so far to actually hear anything.

I hesitated to open Goku's door because I was afraid to witness something I shouldn't. But my hand automatically pushed down the handle. Somehow my instinct was taking over every time it had something to do with Goku.

It was…strange.

I was strange!

I didn't know what I was doing anymore so I decided to enter the room forcefully! Glancing wasn't bringing me anywhere. I wanted to surprise whatever I was going to see!

So when I suddenly burst into the room I was walking right into a black wall.

_Goodness! What in the world?!  
_  
Now I was the one being surprised once again instead of those _things._  
"Goku?" I had no idea where I was as it was bitch black around me. I had the feeling I was blind. It was frightening!

"Chi?" a rather tired voice answered me. I held my hands out and made small steps. "What are you doing ?"  
What I was doing? Didn't he notice that his room was a dark as an endless hole?

"Where are you?" I whimpered as the jingle was louder as before.

"What do you mean?" I heard his low footsteps and was startled as suddenly something brushed my hands.

"It's me, it's me!" Goku assured me and I grabbed his arm desperately.

"Why is it so dark in here?" I wanted to know. My voice was trembling.

"Dark?"

"Goku, it's pitch black, I can't even see you!" I had tears in my eyes by now. Those stupid shadows were blinding me on purpose!

"Chi….it's not pitch black in here. I can see you very clearly, you know…"

_Say what?_

"But…" a jingle distracted me and I turned around my head, trying to follow the sound. Goku's hand stroked my head and brought my face back to its original place. He stroked my cheek with his thumb but I couldn't calm down.

My eyes were moving from one spot to another. I knew Goku must have stood before me but I couldn't see him, I could just feel him. Alright, now I started to panic!  
"You really can't see me…" he suddenly whispered out as if he just now started to believe me and I couldn't help myself but really start to cry.

"What is happening to me…"


	4. A piece of a puzzle

**Hey there! Thank you very very much for your Reviews up till now! I loved reading them! I know you all might be curious about this Story's outcome! But I can't tell you too much about it and believe me, there are going to be a loooooot of twists in here^^**

**So to lessen your curiousity here's the third chapter for you!**

**Disclaimer: I just realize...I forgot something important...but I can't remember what it was.**

* * *

**Three – A piece of a puzzle**

"Temporary blindness." Bulma stated as she – I supposed – lighted into my eyes. I couldn't help but shiver as I squeezed Goku's hand permanently. The big hand of my father brushed every now and then over my back.

"How could that happen?" he asked in his deep and warm voice. I wasn't able to see him, but I could imagine his facial expression. He probably had small tears in his small eyes while his big face was showing worry endlessly.

Bulma sighed as I felt her move away from me. Goku's hand patted mine. My head moved to every direction I heard noise from while my eyes continued to stare into absolute darkness. It frightened me not to know where I was looking at or who was looking at me. I just hoped this wasn't forever.

"Well, I don't know exactly what's the cause of temporary blindness. I've never seen it with my own eyes, I just heard from it. It's a rather rare kind of blindness…I think only a small amount of people actually had it. I could check your medulla, but I would like to wait for that. I hope it's vanishing in about four to five days."

"Four to five days?" I yelled out disbelieving. "But what am I going to do until then? I can't go out! Who's cooking for everybody? What about university? Well, I guess I can do very well without university…but what about the house? I just can't sit around, do nothing and wait for my eyesight to come back, can I?"

"Calm down Chichi." Goku whispered into my left ear. My head snapped to his voice.

"How am I to calm down when the only thing I see is absolute darkness?" I shook his hand of forcefully and stood up, walked two steps only to bump right into a chair, the table, another chair, the wall and the door until I finally found the handle pushed it down and stomped out of the room with the last pride I could hold.

It didn't take long until two hands stabilized me and helped me to walk around without bumping into everything again. I sighed. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"For snapping at you just now."

His chuckle was like sunlight to my ear. "No need to. It's alright for you to be depressed."

"Is my father still with Bulma?"  
"Yeah. They're discussing how to make you feel more comfortable for the time being."

I sighed. "I made them feel _un_comfortable just now…"

He chuckled once more. "Don't concern yourself with it. It's time you're being cared of once in awhile. You do enough for all of us. It's our cue now to help you. Careful, steps ahead of you."

I automatically wanted to grab for the balustrade of our staircase as I was being lifted up into the air. "Hey!" I protested and waved with my arms around, not knowing where I can hold on to. He sat me down soon after.

"Why did you do this? I could have done perfectly well without you!"

_Bad temper! Bad temper! Stop it!_

"Alright." He just said and his hands left me. I felt lonely immediately. I stood still and tried to listen to him, but I couldn't even hear his breathing anymore. The only thing I heard was the wind and a water splashing – we must have been near our garden. But Goku was invisible for me. I gulped down hard and whimpered inaudibly.

Taking one step after another I tried to walk on further, although I didn't even know where he wanted to lead me to anyway. Too proud to call for help, too dump to admit I was hopeless. I often wondered why there were people who liked me for who I was; why they were able to accept me before I was able to accept myself.

"See?" I demonstrated him as I looked into my dark hole and walked on very, very slowly. "Perfectly fine by myself…"_not!  
_  
"And where exactly are you going?" I heard him say behind me.

"Forward." Came my straight answer. As he burst out into a delightful laughter I couldn't help but smile. His hands landed suddenly on my shoulders and he pulled me back a little. Before I could ask what was happening he turned me to my left.

"Wall." Was all he said. I felt like a little child that played Blind-man's bluff. And obviously I was awfully bad at it.

We sat down on our bench in the garden and I enjoyed the warm breeze of April on my skin. It was unnecessary to close my eyes, but I did it either way. Goku's warmth beside me was overwhelming. We didn't talk for a long time and just enjoyed each other's company. I thought I haven't felt so comfortable since a long time ago. It also was like…

"Feels as if we have done something like this before, don't you think?" Goku took my thought away from me and I opened my eyes instinctively to look at him. It was sad not to know what kind of face he was making. "Yeah…"

I couldn't help myself but smile and hoped he was smiling also. I was curious and lifted my hand to search for his face. As I reached the corner of his mouth and touched it lightly I felt him stiffen a little. "I just wanted to check if you're smiling..." I pouted a little.

"I'm always smiling when being with you." He whispered low.

"Oh." That took me by surprise, although I was sure my heart was bumping double as fast as usually.

"Why did you come into my room last night, Chi?" he suddenly wanted to know as if we never talked about his previous confession. His hand touched mine that was still lingering on his face. "Was it because you couldn't see anymore?"

"No…" I turned my head away from him. Just because I couldn't see him didn't mean he wouldn't be able to read my facial expressions. "I could see perfectly…until I entered your room."

He breathed in hard and held his breath. "Could it be, that it's because of me you can't –"

"Why in the world should it be your fault?" I cut is sentence off. "It's entirely the fault of those stupid shadows I see!" I blurted suddenly out but bit my lip as soon as I did that. _Shit!  
_  
"Shadows?"

I didn't answer him in any way.

"You mean those shadows you talked about that time? The ones your great-grandfather was talking about?"

"I don't know what those are! It's just an illusion anyway…" I tried to flatten the story a bit. Yet Goku didn't let go.

"How long has it been?"

"What?"

"Since when are you seeing them?"

I sighed. "Basically I see them my whole life. But ever since you appeared here it has become worse…" I whispered.

"So it is my fault." His voice was hard and I felt him stand up. His feet were moving from one side to another. I could hear his restless walking right before me. "If I had known what effect it would have on you I would have went away." He muttered to himself and I didn't damn it!"

"Goku? I can't follow you. What are you talking about? You told me you never heard of those shadows? Why is it that I think you know just exactly what those things are?"

"I didn't lie that time when you told me about the legend. I couldn't remember the story, so of course couldn't I have heard about it."

"So…you remembered something?!" I stood up and looked still into my blackness as I tried to search for Goku with my ears. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? If you know who you are, why keeping it a secret from me?"

"Exactly because of this!" his hands landed on my shoulders. "They warned me, but I still kept searching for you. I knew it was risky, but for me to actually find you after such a long time…and now they try to take you away from me a second time!"

"A second time? But…you never lost me in the first place. I'm confused, what do you mean? Goku, I can't follow your words!" I felt his forehead on my shoulder as he kept squeezing my shoulders with his hands. I wanted to caress his head as I felt him shiver as much as I did but we were interrupted by my father's voice.

"Hey guys! Dinner's ready! Hurry up or I'm going to eat all by myself!" his laugh echoed through the house.

"Let's go back." Goku took me by my hands but I didn't move an inch.

"Tell me later." I demanded. "Tell me everything later on. Promise."

He sighed. "I promise."

* * *

I was sitting on my bed as I waited impatiently for the door to finally open up. Goku promised me to tell me everything. I had no idea what it could be he wanted to tell me but I had the feeling it had something to do with me. And it frightened me to no ends.

My sight was still as black as before but I was slowly feeling comfortable with it. I couldn't do anything against it anyway, so I was accepting my blindness for the time being.

Dinner with my father went silently between Goku and me. My father was talking with him most of the time while I was trying to eat without throwing everything away from my plate. It was frustrating me…until I said I wasn't hungry anymore and vanished inside of my room – I had no idea just how many bumps were already covering my body.

Not knowing where you go to is really irritating. Ever since then I was sitting here and waited for Goku to come by. It was slowly getting chilly and I felt my body getting heavy as I longed for some sleep. Seeing nothing but black didn't really help me staying awake. Honestly, I wanted to sleep all the time. I was feeling tired constantly, but maybe it was because I was just feeling stressed out.

When I allowed myself to lay down for a while the door finally clicked and my head snapped to the sound. "Goku?"

"I'm here." He closed the door and his hand automatically grabbed mine. "You're cold." He stated and rubbed my icy knuckles with his palm. I didn't care about any of that, I wanted to know what was happening here!

"Goku, you have to tell me who you are, where you come from, what you're doing here and why you said it was your fault I'm blind for the time being! Honestly, I like you. I like you a lot! But for god's sake, just tell me what the hell is wrong with me? And why did you talk about those shadows this afternoon? I thought I told you already that those are just legends and illusions anyway. Please don't tell me you thought too much about the words of my great-grandfather who meant I was a relative to those foggy things…" He cradled my face with his hands and I just so wanted to see his eyes; it was unbearable not knowing what he looked like!

"Chichi, calm down. I told you I would tell you everything, but believe me when I say it's not that easy to form everything into words. It's not easy for me. I just got my memory back – last night to be specific. And as soon as it happened your eyesight went missing."

"It did? But…why haven't you told me? And why me? Does it have anything to do with me seeing those shadows?"

"It's even more than that…"

"More?" I honestly felt scared by now. I felt him taking a seat beside me as my bed moved a little. He sighed deeply.

"Why is there more to it?" my voice trembled.

"Because I know who you really are."

"Who I really am?" I questioned him again, not believing my ears. As if on cue the jingle was back, louder than ever before. It sounded like a warning, but I was pretty talented in ignoring warnings.

I gulped. "You know that you don't sound very trustworthy, don't you?" I tried to joke.

"I know." My smile died on my face and I breathed in deep yet couldn't stop my voice from trembling. "They are here right now, you know." I informed him as the jingle was slightly getting on my nerves. It wasn't really helpful either. I was nervous! "It seems as if they want to warn me from something. Maybe even you."

He chuckled low. "I think they want to especially warn you from me. It's their fault I lost you in the first place." His bitter remark filled the air.

"You've said something like this before."

"What?"

"That you've lost me once…Goku, we only know each other since about four weeks. You've never lost me as you never had me before to be specific. Why would you say that?"

"Have you noticed the bond we share?" His fingertips suddenly brushed the back of my hand gently and startled me.

_What is this about? Didn't he want to explain his purpose for being here? _

As good as I could I denied his touch. It was hard, but I managed somehow.

"I certainly did notice it. We don't behave like strangers with each other at all. But you know…that's not special in any way. I mean, it can happen. But it's not as if it's some kind of wonder. And why should that be important now?"

He kept silent until I couldn't hold it in any longer. "You didn't answer my question!"

"Which one?"

"Well…all of them!"

"Then ask."

I breathed in deep, trying to hold my anger in. "Well, first of all: Who are you? What's your real name?"

"My name is Goku. You named me right, although I have no idea how you did that if you, like you said, never had met me before."

I ignored his comment. "Where do you come from."

"A place far away from here. Almost unreachable for most of the people."

"That's not really answering my question enough."I huffed. "How did you get here?"

"I gave up my life in order to get to meet you."

I gulped. There he went again… "Why are you here? Tell me your real reason. Don't tell me everything you did had something to do with me. It's irritating."

He sighed. "I was searching for you." And my anger snapped.

"For god's sake, Goku, just tell me the truth! I'm blinded by something I don't know and you promised me to tell me everything I need to know! So stop telling me the same thing over and over again and just explain what the hell is wrong! You know, I'm happy to hear your thoughts about me. Utterly and completely happy, you have no idea what your words are doing to me. But Goku: I'm not in the mood to hear lies when all I want is the truth. Sweet words don't mean anything to me right now, and honestly if you keep this façade on I'm going to explode!"

He didn't say anything. And I felt suddenly bad.

I sighed. "Tell me who I am."

"But you-"

"Just say it! If you know who I am, then tell me!" The jingle was louder as ever and I took it as a hint that this was just exactly the information I needed! "And tell me about the role I play in life…"

"You might not believe anything I'll say…"

"Oh come on! I'm seeing and even hearing shadows who blinded me by the way. My father's not my father as my mother shouldn't be my mother. I have the feeling I'm a person in the wrong body. You are someone I've only met and yet I get the feeling it was only just you I've ever known. Don't decide by yourself what I'll believe and what not. It's about me and my life. And that is strange enough…"

"Alright…" he breathed in deeply. "Tell me if it's too much information at once."

I nodded and waited for him to start. I was going to manage somehow...

"Your great-grandfather told you about the shadow realm; the place where he learned his technique from. Truth is this realm is no legend. It exists. And just as he said, lost shadows are reborn as humans without any memory left. As you might think this is what happened to me, then I'll have to tell you, you're wrong. I'm not from the shadow world. I can't see them. Not here. I can't hear them. I just can feel them and guess they are there although I never actually knew they truly turn into shadows. Their world is called 'shadow realm' as the stay hidden in the dark of the dimension..."

"Can you feel them now?"

"Not really…But I think it has something to do with you being blind. They entirely have their concentration on you."

"But why would they do this?"

"Maybe because they want to call you so that you may fall into darkness again. They probably want you back."

I shivered and Goku kept on talking. "When I was young I found a portal that brought me from my dimension into the shadow realm."

"Say what?!" Whatever he said, this sounded really ridiculous. He chuckled. "I told you it was hard to believe."

"Well, it's not what you would hear every day, you know!"

"I know…is it alright to keep on?"

I checked the ringing and thought it was bearable so I agreed. His hand still held mine and I was glad about that. I couldn't see and I didn't know where my mind was. The information my brain got was pretty hard to swallow. So feeling his hand signalized me that I was still sitting on my bed and that I didn't dream.

He shifted his body a little. Maybe he was feeling even more uncomfortable than me.

"Well, when I went through the portal I landed straight into the shadow world. At first I didn't know what to do. Those people were looking so forcefully. So evil. Dark. But when I saw how they behaved with each other I understood that it was just their looks that made them seem like…you know: the bad guys. I still believe they are able to hold more love in their hearts than any other. But this love is so great that they don't care about sacrifices as long as they can fulfill their loving task."

The ringing suddenly stopped.

"While in my world people lie all the time. They smile at you but at the same time they cut you with a knife in two mentally. Chichi, my world is dominated by light. And everybody just walks around with a big smile on their faces. But in reality all they think about is the unhappiness of others so that their own luck was increasing."

"That sounds horrible."

"I know…" he sighed. "And I'm no better actually.…" he interrupted himself before he kept on. "I kept the portal to myself. I didn't want to share what I've found. I kept travelling from A to B until one time I met you."

"Me?!"

"Yeah, you…"

"But…that would mean I am really from the shadow world…but…how can it be that I...what…I don't get this…" the bells silently started to ring again, very low, very sadly.

"You were the first to talk to me. You noticed I was not from your world. We met almost every day. You were different but in one thing you were the same as the others: Your loving heart was like a deep ocean, never satisfied…always wanting to give more than it could…"

"And what happened then?" I couldn't help myself and stop the tears from falling. I didn't know what it was, but the ringing in my ears suddenly sounded so very upset…

"It's my fault…I was the one who didn't recognize what was happening…."he interrupted himself. Was it so hard to tell me what happened exactly? I wanted to open my mouth to question him what was wrong as a stinging pain flashed through my brain. I yelped and collapsed to the ground, holding my head in process. I felt Goku lifting my upper body up, but I couldn't hear him anymore either. Seeing was still out of the question. He brushed my cheek and his movement was so sweet it only doubled the pain in my head. I didn't understand anything anymore, I just wanted this to stop. Whatever it needed for it to stop I wanted it to stop!

I had the feeling my head exploded. I was blind, deaf and felt helpless. Even my mind was robbed as I suddenly fell unconscious and welcomed the absolute blackness around me.

The pain stopped…the sound stopped…and I felt free.

* * *

I dreamt once about me dying. I was lying on the ground and injured badly. I lost a lot of blood and knew I was about to die. Someone was beside me and I was happy he was there. I was happy he cared about me while I took my last breath. And died.

Whenever I dreamt about that and woke up the next morning I felt somehow saved. Yet lonely at the same time.

When I opened my eyes this morning and looked at the ceiling above me I couldn't feel happy about it. I was seeing again since about ten days but something was missing ever since. Something was not there anymore although it should. I sat up and looked around my room to check just what was missing exactly. I did that every day to be specific. But I couldn't find anything. I searched my drawers every morning, hoping I would find and remember something but nothing came to my mind at all.

Krillin was already sitting in the kitchen and slurped a cup of coffee when I entered the room.

"Hey there, sleepyhead!" he greeted me and I sat down taking my own mug and sipped on it.

"Hey…" my reply was powerless, although I hadn't seen him since two weeks. He didn't even knew I wasn't blind anymore. He just got the notice of me being blind before he had to go on a trip.

"Your eyesight came back already?"  
"Obviously…" I answered, he smiled brightly at me and I frowned.

"Have I lost anything the last few days?" I asked my best friend.

"Lost something?" I nodded. "How should I know, I wasn't there. And except for your eyesight I think you had everything you needed. You haven't said anything. Was it important?"

"I don't know…" I groaned. "I don't know what it was…."

"Well then…it couldn't have been important." I tried to accept his answer so far and sipped on my coffee again. "Where's dad?"

"In town, meeting his friend."

"And why are you here?" I questioned him with my eyebrows hooked up. I knew he was my best friend but it was unusual for him to come by just to meet me without a reason. He frowned. "No idea…I thought I wanted to meet someone."

"My dad?"

"Don't know…"

I nodded again and stood up. "While you're thinking about your purpose for being here, I'm going to take a shower."

* * *

Krillin wasn't the only one who was walking up and down our house in order to do something, although he didn't know what exactly…

Even Bulma came by to check on someone, but nobody was sick. And my dad walked up and down muttering something to himself, like "training with whom?" and such.

Everybody behaved very strange.

Going back to my room to take a change of clothes I passed our guestroom and stopped. I inclined my neck and looked. Somehow I had the feeling it had something to do with this room that I missed something. How had I lost my eyesight again? I wondered.

_Strange…I don't remember even that.  
_  
Opening the door I stepped into the room and looked around. Nothing seemed unusal. Shrugging my shoulders I closed the door once again. Rubbing my face with my palms I tried to get rid of this uneasiness I felt.

I just had to stay cool. And a cold shower was probably helping me with it. Or not? Looking at the door of the guestroom again I slowly started to call myself crazy! I wanted to check the inside again! Feeling my heart beating wildly I inhaled deeply and pushed the handle down a second tome to look into the empty room.

When I passed the bed with my eyes this time, a small black foggy something was sitting there. I stepped back in surprise. And closed the door.

I wasn't scared about it, but it just popped up so suddenly! How I hated those illusions….They were getting worse every day…

I closed my eyes shut and opened them up again only to peek into the room once more. As the black fog hadn't vanished I stepped forward and closed the door behind me.

"Just what in the world are you…" I whispered low. I had to admit, I was curious. My knees shook fiercely.

It lifted his foggy "hand" and pointed at the mirror behind me. I turned around and looked at it. "What?"

I looked to the shadow again, yet it just continued to point towards the mirror. I stepped forward and looked through the reflecting glass.

"And now?" I wanted to know as I didn't see anything. The shadow kept pointing at the mirror and I sighed. It wanted something from me and I had no idea what it was…So I looked at the frame. I walked around it. I touched the glass.

And took my hand back. What was that? Did this thing just waver?

I looked at it closely. Glancing back at the bed I questioned the fog nonverbally what this meant, but it wouldn't answer me! I gulped and with my index finger poked the watery mirror. I had to admit I was kind of fascinated by it.

But maybe it was a mistake I did that. Maybe it even was a mistake having entered the room. But it was absolutely a fatal error when a dark force suddenly appeared out from the mirror, grabbed my neck and pulled me with it!  
_  
_I was too shocked to utter a sound. This had to be a dream! I tried to grab something with my fingers but found nothing to hold on. And in the flash of a moment I suddenly remembered what I actually forgot.

The shock hit me. Hard.

Just as hard as the ground that stopped my fall. Lying on the floor I shivered to my bones and back.

I forgot about Goku. Just like the rest. We forgot about him although we knew he was there.

Sitting up I searched my surroundings. I wasn't home anymore, but I was sure about this since I fell through the mirror seconds ago. The trees surrounding me were just proving I was right.

My eyes looked from right to left until I saw this little foggy shadow again. It stood there unmoving. I stood up, angry.

"That was you, wasn't it?" I stomped right towards it. "What in the world were you thinking?"

As expected it didn't answer me, it just lifted his "hand" again.

I sighed. "Yeah, yeah….I got it. Just how I wish I would at least get one answer from you…" I muttered to myself until another hand suddenly landed on my shoulder. I screamed and backed away until yet again a hand landed on my mouth and silenced me. My heart was just about to jump out of my chest as I recognized the face that looked at me perplexed.

My eyes went wide and I stopped breathing. The hand left my mouth.

"Goku?!" I hysterically whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that!" he whispered just as low as I did before he suddenly hugged me close. "You shouldn't be here! How did you get here?"

He was just about to crush me inside his arms but I enjoyed his embrace endlessly.

"I fell through the mirror." I said while I touched his back with my fingertips. I couldn't believe he was real.

"What?"

"The mirror in our guest room…something pulled me through it."

He pushed me away and held me one arm-length away from him. "You found a portal?"

"Uh…more like the portal found me." I smiled halfheartedly. "This foggy thing behind me showed me the way." I pointed at it. Goku frowned. I guessed he still couldn't see them.

"They are still there?"

"Oh yes."

"But I thought…if I vanish they would stop coming after you….they promised me." His head fell and I touched his arm.

"What do you mean?"

"When you collapsed to the ground that night I knew it was their doing. They told me I should stop coming after you, or they will do something to you. I mean they warned me already but that they were sacrificing you a second time…I couldn't let that happen…I was not strong enough to protect you…again."

"But why would they do this?"

"Because they love you and want to protect you from me. And they know I care about you, so hurting you to threaten me in order to get me away is…"

"Unfair and completely stupid!" I blurted out and saw how the shadow flinched. Well, if it could flinch then it did…

"They decide without asking me! Love to or thru, this is still my life! They can't decide about me before I don't even know why! It's my decision whom I fall in love with or not!" I clapped a hand over my mouth.

_Where did that come from?! _

"Uh that was…uh…you know….uh…."

Goku looked at me with big eyes before he smiled and hugged me close again. His warmth encircled me like a bubble. "You sound just like that last time when you told me you loved me. I'm happy to hear you say that again…"

"That time? Which time?" I felt my head burn.

"Doesn't matter anymore…you're here, that's all that matters."

I was confused by his actions but I couldn't help myself as I answered his hug and pushed my nose into his chest. I didn't know how long we stood there but I enjoyed every second of it.


	5. Too much love can be painful

**Four – Too much love can be painful**

The shadow beside me walked with us as if there was nothing else to do anyway. Goku held my hand tightly and it didn't look as if he wanted to let go at all. I smiled at his playfulness and my eyes shifted to the shadow again.

"So." I started to talk. I thought I heard a high pitched noise from the shadow but Goku sounded it out with his voice. "Yeah?"

Well, I actually wanted to talk to the shadow but I guess it was confusing for Goku…so I started my conversation with him first.

"Where exactly are we?"

"My dimension." He stated matter-of-factly.

"The shadows brought you back here?"

"Not exactly. They took me with them, but I escaped them somehow…and I knew where the portal still was, so I was able to come back here."

"You don't sound happy about it…" I analyzed his mimic and his sad smile was evidence enough I was right. "Why?" I wanted to know.

He continued walking as he answered me. "Because you weren't there."

As I didn't answer him anymore because my cheeks were so burning hot he continued talking himself. "It took me pretty long searching for you. The memory loss excluded. So a lot of people here would be surprised seeing me again. They probably thought I was dead."

when I was gone, why not forgetting about me?" I gulped. This question was hurting me more than him. "If you had the people here wouldn't have to think you were dead."

"I tried forgetting about you….or your old self, what still is you. But I couldn't, it was like a curse." His words were hurting and warming at the same time.

I saw a small movement and followed the fog with my eyes. The shadow beside me lifted up his foggy hand and held it above Goku's shoulder and I couldn't help but giggle. This little thing was trying to comfort him, or so it looked.

"Are you laughing at me?" Goku wanted to know as he couldn't help himself but smile at me, too. I shook my head no.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to laugh but this little shadow here just tried to comfort you."

"It did?" His eyebrows went up in wonder. "Well…thank you…"

"I think it just wanted to tell you it's nothing." I smiled and felt him squeeze my hand.

"It's unusual for them to come here." He informed me. "And even here I'm unable to see them."

"You see me." I boldly blurted out. "As a former shadow I announce: that is more than enough."

Goku chuckled warmly and the sound pulsated through my body. "You never were a shadow in the first place. But hearing you say that means pretty much to me..."

"Because you never believed you would hear me again?" I didn't know what it was, but his thoughts started to become very clear to me. "What happened to me that time?"  
He shook his head and evaded my eyes. "You can't?" I pleaded.

"It's not that I can't…it's more that…"

"You're afraid I may collapse again?" his silent reply was answer enough. "Hey Little One." I yelled for the little shadow. "As you brought me to him I think I can trust you, can't I?"  
I presumed it nodded. "Is it alright for me asking about the past? Are you going to hurt me or not?"

"Chi, what are you – "

"Just let me get this clear." I smiled at Goku who didn't understand anything anymore. He just kept on walking down the road, pulling me with him. The scenery was beautiful: trees, lakes, a blue sky…but I was too occupied discussing things out with my little traveler. I was not keen about watching the area.

"Is it alright for you to vanish for some time? Just until Goku has finished telling me? Would you do that?" It stood still and hesitated. I looked at it with pleading eyes. And suddenly without any sound it flew away with the wind and vanished like ash. "It's gone." I told Goku and looked at him silently. He sighed as he stopped walking.

"You're not stopping until I tell you the story, am I right?"

"I'm sorry for pressuring you…" I patted the hand that still held mine and looked at him, awaiting his words.

"You're just like you used to be…" he smiled sadly and brushed with his other thumb over my eyebrow. I knew this movement. I didn't know why, but I knew this movement.

"You did that then, too, didn't you? Brushing over my eyebrow." I whispered.

"Whenever I thought you were asleep…"

He continued stroking until I closed my eyes and relaxed completely. His voice was very low while talking. "Ever since we've met for the first time we were inseparable. You were sweet, and you didn't want to leave my side. I enjoyed your company."

"How old were we when we met for the first time?"

"I was fifteen and you were twelve."

"What happened?"

"We grew older. And one day you told me you loved me. We sat on the grass like almost everyday and you just said it like any other sentence. It took me by surprise. And I wasn't able to know what kind of love you meant so I rejected you. You looked so sad that day…"

"Why wouldn't you know what kind of love I meant?"

"Your people…your relatives love every- and anything. They have the ability to accept all just like it is. The first thing they do is love. But just as great as they love, they hate. And to protect the ones they love they would do anything. They grieve for it to achieve not thinking about the outcome. That grief is what transforms their bodies into those shadows."

"So you rejected me because you didn't know if I loved you the special way? Because you thought I could turn into a foggy thing if my wish to have you could grew into something uncontrolled?" I looked at him; he smiled.

"You could say it like that, yes. But after I saw your sad face I thought I made a mistake, so I questioned you again. And you pleaded for me not to leave you, that you loved me like no other was able to love me and that all you wished for was my happiness. I was happy to hear that. Especially as our relationship was prohibited."

"Why?"

"Because I was from another clan, someone who was not from your dimension. I was dangerous. I thought you would run away if I had told you I cared for you. But then you just went on and told me what I believed to never hear from you."

I looked at him as his hand cupped my cheek. My heart was beating like crazy. It was strange: although I knew I didn't know Goku long enough to actually feel like this, I really wasn't feeling shy about it. I was just excited. My heart knew more than my brain…It knew him.

"You died for me…" he suddenly pressed out in a whisper and took my whole attention back to his lips. "You died in order to protect me. Your father wanted to kill me, but you sacrificed yourself in order to keep me alive. Your love to me was greater than the love you had to your own family…that's the reason I took the chance to look for you. Although they warned me about getting too close to you. They threatened me. But in the end it was you again who found me…"

"So all the time they tried to hide me from you? The reason I was blind was because they didn't want me to see you? Not to look at you? They wanted to warn me from you? But…that's just…" I didn't know what to say anymore so I just yelled out whatever was on my mind. "I already forgot all of the life I had before I turned human. So meeting you then had nothing to do with meeting you in the past! I'm not who I used to be and you weren't either as you forgot your past completely! We met as…total strangers…They don't have the right to judge over us!"

"No Chi, you don't understand! They _do_ have the right to judge over us because they were responsible for you to even be reborn!"

"Responsible for it?!" To say I was furious was way under the top!

"And I made a bet with myself that if I found out where you were and make you remember me again I could cut all your ties to them! But they interfered more than they should! They almost killed me, they tried to ban me from my country and they distracted you in order to tell you I was dangerous. And just before I got you to finally tell you our story they wanted to kill you! They played with me and you….just because their grief was greater than their sense of justice. They do whatever they have to do in order to accomplish their wishes…" Goku's face twisted in anger. "They never believed me when I told them my love for you was just as great as theirs. They never…" he rolled his fingers into a fist and looked to the ground, defeated. I couldn't help myself, but think that he looked so awfully old when saying this…

"Well, I think one little shadow believed you…" I smiled up at him and patted the spot over his heart. "Or why do you think it brought me to you?"

"I don't know…" he sighed. "But it bothers me…if this little thing knows where I am then the ones who want me dead must know also….and you still don't remember your past, do you?"

I shook my head no. I am still human. No shadow being, although I only know half of my past life or the reason my mother was able to give birth to me. She really must have thought I was a present from heaven when she suddenly got to know she was pregnant.

"It's too dangerous for you here…" Goku took me out of my thoughts. I knew he was right, I probably should go back home. Krillin must already think I drowned in the shower. I would be able to travel to Goku through the mirror again, as I was the only one who remembered him so far. But somehow I didn't want to leave him again.

"What are we going to do from now on?" I wanted to know. He silently encircled my small frame with his arms again. I guessed he didn't know either what was about to happen from now on…

The little shadow popped up beside me again and looked at us with his head tilted as if it wanted to know "Is it alright to be back already?" I smiled up at it and nodded slightly.

"It's back isn't it?" Goku softly hummed into my shoulder and sounded a little whiny.

I chuckled. "Yeah it is. Should we keep on walking?"

He left the embrace and looked at me with wide eyes. "You want to stay here?"

I hesitated. "Shouldn't I?"

"Well…it's just that it's quite dangerous for us to be together…I mean the shadows are unable to attack us as long as we stay in my dimension…for now…. but…if this "little one" as you call it has no trouble walking through here without being seen…maybe even more shadows are already looking at us?"

"Well… I can see them. And maybe this here is just too small for your barriers you have in here." I waved around with my arms and ignored the little protest that came from the shadow. Goku shook his head. "No…you should go back. As long as your present self doesn't forget about me again I'm perfectly content as it is."

"But-!" his sudden kiss silenced me in an instant. And before I knew what happened to me he pushed me into a little puddle of water and dunked me down. When I came up to the surface again I found myself in our garden and was standing right inside our little pond. The Koi-carps of my father were swimming around my feet hysterically and I had trouble catching my breath. I looked around and searched for Goku but all I could see was the little shadow that floated before me.

"God damn it!" I stomped into the water and the fish were just about to pass out from a heart-attack. Not just those shadows, my father and my university teacher tried to manipulate my life, now even Goku was doing it too!

Stomping out of the pond and into our house my father crossed my way. He looked at my wet and dripping state perplexed and opened his mouth to say something. I just lifted my hand up. "Don't you even dare!" I hissed and went into my room only to slam the door behind me close.

* * *

I sat before the mirror with my feet crossed and looked at it. The shadow was constantly beside me right now and I just kept on calling it "Little One". It was like my own personal companion.

Ten days ago had Goku pushed me through the pond now and the mirror didn't want to portal me back. The feeling of his lips was slowly fading away and I missed him terribly. I almost sat here every day after school and just stared at the reflecting object. My father wanted to know what I was doing in there all the time but I just said it was better to learn in the guestroom than my own, as my own room was too near to the dojo. He bought my lie and I had free access without any suspiciousness following me.

I sighed and lay down on the floor. Little One made a small noise.

"Don't worry, I'm fine…" I lazily muttered out. "But I want to go there again." I pointed to the mirror. "But I have no idea how I should do this…and you know what?" I sat up abruptly. "I really don't understand why Goku's so suspicious! Ever since I got back nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. And to be honest: I don't want my peace if it means he's not going to be there. Don't you think so too?"

Little one inclined his neck. I sighed. "Oh…I wished you could answer me…"

It made a noise that sounded as if it sighed too. "But we still have to do something." I declared. "Maybe I should go to the shadow realm? What do you think? I'm able to travel to it, aren't it?"

Little one nodded eagerly. I grinned. "Good! Then let's go! Right now!"

My foggy companion squealed. "Relax!" I tried to calm it down. "I have you, don't I?"

It hesitated and I practically could hear it say "Are you sure you want to go right now?"

"Yeah I'm sure. Come on! Show me the way!"

It stood still. I growled a little. "No, I'm not going to tell anyone because they may flip out!"

Little One wandered from right to left. "Goodness, you're a worrywart! What should be happening? I just want to visit them…maybe I'm able to find my former family and talk to them. I want them to stop mixing my life up."

Little One mumbled something incoherently and I felt like a magician because I understood it perfectly. "No I'm not stubborn! And I know that it's risky…but I just can't sit here and wait for something and do nothing because nothing's going to change! You believe they would let me live peacefully with Goku if I tell him to come back?"

It shook his head no and I had my answer. "Well then. We're going!"

Little One pointed to the mirror again. I ruffled my hair. "You absolutely want to inform Goku, don't you?" It nodded. "Why are you even helping us if you are a shadow yourself? What in the world did you grieve for that turned you into this? You must still be nothing more than a child…"

Little One stood still and didn't do anything. The magic was gone and I wasn't able to read its mind anymore. I sighed once again and touched the glass of the mirror. "Forget it…" I tried to apologize and concentrated on the other thing again. "Just how should I go there? The portal's closed…." I leaned my forehead against the material and felt its cold surface.

The last time something was grabbing me. I still had no idea just what exactly that was. Why in the world was there even something that grabbed me? Well…maybe I just imagined it anyway. I closed my eyes.

"Goku…" I whispered. "Goku….if you can hear me than take me to you."

Nothing happened. "Listen to me and open the portal up." I was slightly getting louder yet still nothing moved. "Please…" I leaned away from the mirror and sighed. This was useless. I already had tried this method a thousand times! Why should it work this time? I felt a lone tear sneak away from the Corner of my eyes. Oh how I missed those eyes of his, his sweet smile, his scent, the spiky feeling of his hair...his soft, tender voice that enflamed me from deep within...

"Chi?" said voice suddenly appeared in my ear and I jumped towards the mirror only to grab the Frame with a beathing heart. "Goku?!"

"Nah…I must be hearing things…I'm thinking too much about her..."

"No, no, no, no! You're not hearing things, it's really me! And don't you dare stop thinking about me!"

"Chi?"

"Yes!" I squealed out in joy, trying not to cry as I heard his voice.

"Where are you? Didn't you reach your home the time when I..."

"You bet I did! Don't ever do something like this again!"

"So you're home? But how come I can hear you?"

"I have absolutely no idea, but it's good hearing your voice again…" I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the mirror. He chuckled. The shadow beside me squealed incoherently. And I remembered why I even tried to contact him. Well…not that I haven't tried it before, but this was the first time for him to actually answer me.

"Goku, do you…do you know a way to get to the shadow realm?" I almost whispered, too scared of his reaction.

"Why do you want to know?" He suspiciously asked me and I gulped.

"Well…maybe if I speak to them they are willing to let us live in peace?"

"No."

"But…I haven't even tried anything! Maybe – "

"I said no! This is exactly what happened the last time and then you were dead! I'm not letting you go!"

"But a life with you is meaningless if I can't see or touch you! And I just can't sit here and do nothing….don't give us up before we haven't even tried anything. You said you made a bet with yourself that if you were to find me you would cut all ties with our past!"

"But I can't afford losing you again…"

"If I can't have you by my side then you've lost me already!" I felt my heart beating as I said that. I was afraid of his reaction, but I just couldn't do nothing. And if my life was without him then I had rather nothing to do with him at all. What probably was impossible as my soul was basically screaming for him all the time. It was silent and I wondered if he already gave up on us and just left. Until I heard his sigh.

"Alright…but I'm going with you. I'm not sitting here and watch you doing this alone. We're doing this together." I thanked him silently from the bottom of my heart and even Little One beside me seemed more relaxed than seconds before.

"I'll go get you." Goku stated and I lifted my eyebrows up in wonder. How in the world would he want to get me?

"How do you….the pond?!" This idea hit me like a fist. Just why in the world haven't I thought about this?! Well…swimming in the pond would have rather seemed weird. I didn't even want to know what my father or the others would have thought of me. But a try wouldn't have hurt! I glared at Little One and asked it with my eyes why it didn't say anything but it just avoided my gaze shyly. Oh well, I couldn't blame it anyway. As quickly as I could I ran through the house and into the garden. On my way down I crossed my father but I only yelled at him. "No time to explain! I'm gone for a while, don't worry, I'll be back as soon as possible!"

I didn't hear him anymore but I believed to see his facial expression. He had already tears in his eyes and questioned himself why I was leaving him without a proper explanation…

But there were more important things to do than worry about my fathers emotional attachment to his only daughter!

As soon as I jumped towards the pond I fell on my knees and watched the quiet water that rippled every now and then due to the fish eating the insects that were floating above the water. My eyes scanned the whole ground of it, trying to see something that could have been a sign of the portal. But nothing happened. I was breathing shortly as I was kind of nervous suddenly.

_Was everything alright? Did I get Goku wrong? Did something happen on his side?_

And just as I thought that a hand shot through the water and welcomed my hand as I grabbed it automatically. With a strong pull I splashed into the water, held my breath and closed my eyes. As soon as my head felt the cool air around me again I breathed in deeply and blinked the water out of my face. I looked at the warming gaze of Goku who stood there with his unusual spiky hair that dripped from the water of the small puddle we were standing in.

"Hey…" I breathed out and smiled up at him shyly.

"Hey…" he whispered back and entwined our fingers with each other before he stepped a little closer and brushed some wet hair behind my ear. His fingers tickled my skin.

"You alright?"

"Yeah…"I answered still unbelieving that I was seeing him again. "How did you get through the portal? Wasn't it closed?"

"It was…but I just…used some mental force." He jokingly said before he helped me out of the water finally. "Oh…" was all I could manage to say.

"I can't quite believe you're here again…"

I smiled. "Well, me neither. I thought for the last few days that my life still was being pulled by someone I can't even see clearly. It must have been them who made it impossible for me to travel back to you." His hand squeezed mine. "Why didn't you come to me?" I whispered before he started to lead me through the little forest.

"A lot happened while you were gone."

"Like what?"

He turned his head to his right and narrowed his eyes. I just followed his gaze and held my breath. "What is the meaning of this?" I pressed out before I turned my head away again and looked at Goku who just sighed.

"I don't know. But I think it's not about us they were doing this."

"You mean…?"

"There has to be something different going on."

He started to walk and I turned my head around to look at this scene again. Half of the forest was destroyed, smoke from already gone fire was still blowing in the wind and the ash tickled my nose. Nothing was left over despite those stony statues that were standing there, looking as if they were frozen in their movements. Humans who tried to fled and turned into stone with their eyes and mouths wide open. I shivered. No, there definitely was something different going on…

_This ought to be more than just my stupid little Problem, isn't it?  
_

I couldn't help myself but doubt my suggestion completely...

* * *

The hot cup of tea was going down my throat like balsam. I sighed as I sipped on my mug and heard Goku chuckle behind me as he dried his hair with a towel. I already had changed into clothes from him and had an embarrassed and yet content feeling in my stomach.

Despite the fact that these clothes smelled like him, what made me indescribably nervous, it calmed me down to drown in his clothes which were just too big. His house was more like a small hut and had everything you needed in one simple room. He didn't even live in some kind of village. He was all alone out here. When I wanted to know if he always had been living like this he only smiled rather sad. That was all of an answer I got. I didn't want to pressure him into telling me more.

I crossed my feet on the chair and warmed both of my hands on the cup. The steam was caressing my face and I closed my eyes and smiled. "You know…"I started a conversation. "I always loved drinking tea with my dad after a cold and rainy day. I always loved dancing in the rain…"

"You loved dancing in the rain in the past, too." He smiled.

"I did?"

"Oh yeah!" I grinned. Maybe the past me was more like the present me than I could have imagined but I liked my current self. I didn't want to remember what happened. I just wanted to look ahead of me and not back. As long as it included Goku then everything was just the way it should go.

"Goku." I took his attention. "Is it alright to not remember the past? I mean, not that I didn't want to remember, but I don't want to change just because of that. I'm the way I'm now. Not how I used to be."

He gently looked down on me before he took another chair and sat down right before me and gazed straight into my eyes. "I don't care which way you are, because you are you. Either way how. I like seeing your smile, the way your hair dances through the wind, the color your cheeks get every time I compliment you. It's all just...you."

"But…If I'm not the girl you met before then I'm not the one you were searching for. Are you going to leave me because of that? Because you can't make me remember? Am I still the "me" you wanted to find?" I had trouble understanding what he was saying to me at all. I knew he was direct but that he was able to say such tender things...

"I've found you before I even realized I searched for you. If it wouldn't have been for my memory coming back than I would have stayed with you, not caring about me not remembering at all."

My head was burning from his words. "I…I think I couldn't let you go even if you wanted me to…" I whispered and hid my face behind my cup as I said that. I didn't want him to see my face glowing from embarrassment.

"I never believed being able to make you leave me…" his own voice was just a mere whisper and I glanced at him from behind my tea to make sure to see his face.

His eyes were radiating and my heart jumped out of my chest and flew right over to him. In that one moment I felt something forming between us. Something inseparable. Goku looked at me as if he felt it too. It was filling me up from the inside and I couldn't help but let the tears fall from the corner of my eyes.

I felt Goku's hand around my neck as he pulled my head towards him and kissed me lovingly one time before he pressed my crying figure against his warm body.

"You're absolutely just like I remembered you. That is the essential you, and nobody else."

My fingers buried themselves into his shirt and I pressed my nose into his chest. "If I had known my essential me could love until it started to hurt…"I said after I had calmed down a little. "…then I wished it could have warned me before."


	6. It's not just you and me

**Hey there, it's me again :)  
Thank you very much for your kind Reviews up till now! They made me reaaally happy. And don't panic guys, the Story is just going right with the flow. This Little chappy here's going to move on a Little faster, so don't be surprised about the Setting.**

**To all of your questions how Chichi's going to be in the next chapters or how she was before...or who's dying in the prologue...**  
**Follow me still and find out :)**

**You already finished half of the Story. Don't give up now^^**

**Disclaimer: As I'm german...I have to look up the meaning of this word hear...maybe I know it the next time :P**

* * *

**Five – It's not just me and you**

"Your dimension is dying." I stated as I hid myself in the darkest corner of a cave. Goku looked as if he wanted to rush out and just punch whatever was responsible for the chaos outside. But he stayed by my side in order not to lose me again.

In the middle of the night a loud sound was waking us up and forced us to leave the hut. They were coming again. They attacked everything on the way and turned anyone into stone. They looked as if they were searching for something. And they were angry. I felt their grief and frustration; it almost tore my heart apart seeing them so sad.

They still weren't able to form a proper body, so they looked like a black fog which rolled like a wave over the land and destroyed everything. My Little One was still missing. I hadn't seen it since yesterday and I was slowly getting worried. Goku turned his head to me, suppressing the urge to run out and fight. I touched his elbow.

"I think we should…do something."

"Do something?" he slightly snapped at me. "What in the world could we do? I can't protect you and my home…I'm not that strong." He ruffled his hair and I leaned my head against his shoulder. I sighed.

"I think we should forget about us for now and do something for your people instead."

He looked at me with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I can't possibly think about us when I see other people suffering like that…I see you suffering, too."

His gaze became desperate and I knew I was right. His head leaned down to touch mine and he sighed deeply. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Chi. You're right, I do have the urge to rush out and do something, but I'm not that stupid. I know I wouldn't stand a chance against them. They are still too strong for me. But believe me when I say leaving you is making me even more nervous."

I touched his cheek lightly with my fingertips. "And yet you still would prefer to rush out, am I right?"

His shocked expression made me smile.

"Don't worry, I guess I still do know more about you than you do." I chuckled and looked out. The black wave vanished for the time being. "I think we should get going and think of a plan."

"A plan?" he unbelievingly said. "What kind of plan? We just can't stick our noses into businesses we don't understand. It doesn't even concern us."

"Maybe…" I stood up and straightened my back. "…but it still is responsible for us sitting in a pinch right now, right?" I looked at him standing up. "As long as you stay by my side I'm perfectly happy. That is what I wanted. They may be not occupied with us for now, but whatever they try to do, as soon as they did it they will come back for me. And everything would start all over again."

We stepped out of the cave and I breathed in sharply. The disastrous status the area was in was way beyond my imagination. Everything was just stone. The plants, trees, animals, even the water stopped flowing. I shivered.

"This is horrible." I whispered and felt him tense up.

I honestly had no idea what I was thinking when I said we should do something to help. Was I going nuts? My mouth was working before my mind could even form the words. And now I really felt stupid for putting my nose into this business. What had I planned when I said that I wanted to help? Stomp over to them, greet friendly and plead for them to stop this? I shook my head as I watched Goku walk past me slowly. Even if I had said to ignore it; I could feel the sadness they felt. They were suddenly so very, very upset. It pained me to see them like this. Even if they were shadows…they were still my family, too.

"We shouldn't follow them." Goku said and looked to the way the shadows were walking to. "If we do, we are going to walk right behind them. That's not save enough."

"What do you suggest?"

He narrowed his eyes. "We should walk south. If I remember correctly they are systematically walking over the land. The first attack was at the east. It looks like they are going west. The southern and northern part is almost untouched. If we go southwest we may be able to come first into the city located there."

"And then?" I wanted to know as I took his helping hand and tried to hold my weight on the stony ground.

"And then we're searching for the portal I found there once I was a kid…"

Honestly, the look in his eyes was making me even more nervous than the fact that I was walking over a grey land that once was full of life.

And it was a hard walk. Just after some minutes my breath came in short distances and my hand basically clutched Goku's and pulled on him like a maniac.

"Watch your step." Was all he ever said to me. He was way too gentle. And I was glad for that as he eased my mind with other thoughts that circulated through my head. What was my father doing? What would he do if he knew what I was about to do? Where was Little One and why hadn't he come back yet? I sighed as I had no answer to any question.

"Should we take a rest?" Goku's big warm hand landed on my head and stroked my hair. "You look tired."

"No…everything's good I was just wondering about some things." I smiled up at him.

"Hn." His thinking face looked hilarious and I couldn't help but laugh out loud shortly. "Oh goodness, Goku! Don't look like that! It's hard enough to breathe so stop taking my breath away even more!" I tried to catch some air with my lungs as the laugher vanished abruptly and ended in a constant grin.

Yeah, I know…it's stupid to laugh just because of something as trivial as a thinking face that looked funny but that was just typical for me. As soon as I was exhausted everything was funny. Goku couldn't help but look confused what caused me even more to giggle.

I didn't see his sudden twitching as I was trying to control myself not looking like a smiling dork. I yelled in surprise as he suddenly clamped my mouth shut with his warm hand and pressed me to his chest. "Shh…" he silenced me and I saw him scanning the stony area which finally was going into green land over again. We were basically at the border of the attack without any disturbances but obviously I was taking the situation too lightly. We weren't safe. Well, we never were in the first place…

Taking me with him to a darker corner he signed me to duck down and wait for him. Looking into the direction he guessed someone or even something, he absolute noiselessly went over there. I didn't hear or see anything and embraced my knees while my heart pumped hard in my chest. The smile on my face was gone in an instant. Goodness, was I dump! I forgot in which world I was at the moment…how arrogant of me…how stupid.

Goku came back after what felt like half an hour. But he only was away for more than five minutes. I clutched his helping hand and stood up as I dusted my pants off. "Sorry…" was all I could say. His eyebrows went up in wonder. So I explained. "For laughing…I forgot where we are. I never thought about the danger. I'm really sorry. I was overreacting."

His hand patted my head affectingly. "Don't worry about it. You're not used to this kind of situation. I'm not blaming you or anything. Nothing happened after all. Being stressed out is quite normal."

I sighed and pushed my nose into his chest. "You're way too gentle with me…"

He kissed my head lightly and chuckled without commenting my sentence. "Let's keep on going. I know a cave where we can rest before moving on tomorrow. It's getting dark in a while."

* * *

" You know, I'm worried about my little companion." I whispered as I watched the fire crackle and felt my eyes become heavy. After a really long and hard walk we finally made it to the cave he was talking about.

Goku put some wood into the wanting flames. His face was glowing from the heat.

"It still hasn't shown up ever since we woke up last night due to the noise of the shadows." I leaned my head automatically into his shoulder after he sat right next to me. His hand patted my fingers.

"It's going to be okay. Get some rest, Chi. I think he's coming back faster than you think. So stop worrying."

My back touched the hard and cold wall of the cave as I tried to lean back. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I hope you're right."

His light laugh tickled my ear as I slowly drifted off to sleep and dreamt about a life I had already forgotten...

Had it really been only one days since I came here?

* * *

"I really can't do that!" I yelled out frustrated as the cold wind blew through my clothes.

Day two of the crazy adventure I was facing right now. And I was standing on a small path right next to a stone-wall while on the other side the cliff went down about 500 meters. Goku said it was the fastest way – he never really said it was the easiest.

But sure, why not! It's not like you can admire this sight at anytime just before you think you're going to die!

"Just grab my hand, I'm going to hold you."

"Oh yeah, how thoughtful of you. But what if you're going to fall down?!" I shrieked. I admit I might be a bit pessimistic….but only a small bit. "Why in the world aren't you able to build streets like we have at home?!"

"We have streets, but this part of our land isn't quite…how would you say…likeable."

"Likeable?" I yelled out disbelieving while my fingers dug into the wall once again. I had blood under my nails and I was too much of a coward to actually grab his hand. "Goku, this is a freaking path next to a freaking stone-wall, I'm scared as hell and you try to tell me I have to walk here because your folk doesn't like this area?! I admit, it's freezing cold, I'm angry and I somewhat understand your people but for god's sake: wasn't there another way?"

"'I'm afraid not…"

"I swear I'm going to kill you once we're on the ground again…" I muttered more to myself but I saw his smile as I looked up to him. So he heard that, didn't he?

"Don't worry…we're over there faster than you think."

I didn't want to think because the only picture I had in my head was seeing myself lying on the ground, looking like a bloody puddle…so I continued talking in order to distract myself.

"Just to make sure…" I stuttered after a while, freezing to death as the wind constantly circled around me. Wasn't very helpful as my fingers were shaking and hurting at the same time…"Once I get over this _alive_, we reach the town you talked about, go to this portal, go over there and then…? Search for Little One?"

I have to admit, I worried more and more about my little companion who just was nowhere to be found! Ever since this big attack in the forest I lost sight of him. And even though I waited and waited and waited for him to come back, he just didn't. I was slowly getting irritated…

Goku looked straight ahead as he answered me. I could hardly understand him as his words flew away with the wind. "Just 200 meters more and we did it. Once we're on safe ground again I know somebody who could lend us transportation."

"Transportation? What kind of?" I couldn't control my voice going up. I was half afraid. Even more than I momentarily was...suprisingly.

Don't be mistaken. It's not like I couldn't ride a horse, drive a car or tramp. But in Goku's dimensions were additionally animals that looked like dinosaurs…and dragons…and monsters! And some of these people here were riding and flying on them. I saw some stony figures while travelling and had goosebumps as I looked at the sharp teeth those tamed animals had.

I preferred cats and dogs…Other than that these men who lived here seemed pretty human and normal…well, almost. If you forget the thing with the shadows and the turning-into-stone-incident…So when Goku talked about transportation you just had to think about what kind of transportation.

My life depended on it, damn it!

"Chi…" Goku took me out of my thoughts without actually answering my "transportation question". I looked up and felt my knees become weak.

"Goku, please don't tell me I have to jump over this hole in the path to get on the other side."

"Uh..I'm afraid you do…" he sent me a small smile.

"No…no, no, no, no, no and one million times more no!" I cried and saw me already falling down the cliff. "You can't really think I'm able to do this! This looks like about 3 – 4 meters. I can't possibly jump that far, Goku! I'm not you! I don't have this special power you have…."

"What do you mean?" Now he turned around looking extremely shocked and…surprised?

I opened my mouth to answer him but stopped midway. What did I mean? I didn't know myself what I was talking about. Why had I said that? I sighed. "I'm sorry…I don't know what I mean, but honestly. I'm a girl and you are a guy. Even under normal circumstances couldn't I possibly jump that far. The gap is just too big."

His hand cupped my cheek and I looked at him. I was afraid and he knew I was. His gentle smile almost brought tears to my eyes.

"Chi, I know I'm asking pretty much of you, but you have to believe me, that you are able to do this, okay? You trust me?"

I gazed into his eyes for a very long time. "Hn."

With a kiss on my nose he left me and run with big steps to the edge of the path before he leaped amazingly beautiful and rather elegant to the other side. With steady feet he landed on the grassy ground. I guessed it wasn't the first time he was doing this.

"Now it's your turn!" he yelled to me, his hands forming an "O" before his mouth. Great. Just great. I breathed in deeply. I could do this. I could absolutely do this. I would just run as fast as I could and push me away with my feet as hard as I could and then jump. Simple.

So…why was my whole body shaking?

"You can do this, Chi!" Goku encouraged me further. "Just put your energy into the jump. And don't think about it."

Not thinking about it? Was he crazy? I muttered a small prayer before I opened my eyes and started to run. With quick steps I pushed my body high up into the air as I flew to the other side. I saw Goku coming nearer and nearer. I almost thought I could grab is outstretched hands. But everything happened just too fast.

The moment I saw his face changing expressions I knew something was wrong. As the grassy ground suddenly wasn't under me anymore but more like above I started to scream.

A yell, a loud version of my name, a short pain, the impact of stone on my face and front body, and then silence. My heart pulsated through my brain and I was feeling sick. I wanted to vomit. My right arm ached and my feet were tangling in the air. I looked up. Goku's face was written with pure horror as he held my outstretched arm in a firm grip.

"I've got you…" he breathed out. "I've got you…" And in one swift he pulled me up.

I sat on the grass like a puppet, unable to move. That was too much of an experience. Goku examined my body and face and brushed away the blood that was flowing out of a cut on my forehead. He said his sorry over and over again before he cupped my cheeks with his big hands and looked worriedly at me.

"Chi? Do you hear me? Look at me…are you alright? Does anything hurt except the cut on your head?"

I just could shake my head. I was a bit…perplexed. He sighed and brought me to his chest in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry…I thought I could catch you a bit later, but you were falling down faster and earlier than I imagined!"

I answered into his shoulder.

"What?" he pushed me away from him a little.

"I'm always good for a surprise, aren't I?" I smiled a little at him as I repeated my sentence. And he chuckled delighted as I was able to make jokes. I couldn't describe how I was feeling. But I wasn't afraid anymore. I knew Goku would look out for me. So I was alright. Standing up he dusted of my dirtied clothes and took my hand.

"Well then. Let's get going." I nodded eagerly, squeezed his hand, took one step and broke down like jelly.

I guess I was still a bit paralyzed.

* * *

When I woke up again I felt my head resting on a soft shoulder. I couldn't focus my eyes so everything I saw was a bit blurry. I heard calm footsteps over a stony road. My head hurt and I groaned.

"Feeling better?" Goku whispered low and I snuggled my face into the base of his neck, smelling him.

"What happened?" I wanted to know.

"You fainted."

"I did?"

"Oh yeah." I heard a small smile.

"Is that funny?"

"It just reminded me of this one time we were trying to explore a cave." His smile became gentle. So a story with my old self, wasn't it? I became lightly irritated with my former mind. Even though I knew it basically was me, it wasn't really me. I was the reason for him to smile this tenderly but at the same time I wasn't.

I was jealous of myself. Pathetic.

But I didn't want him to know so I asked what this story was all about while I enjoyed him carrying me. He didn't look as if he wanted to put me down either.

"I was about seventeen then. You were fourteen. I came to visit you like anytime and you waited for me like you always did. We met on our secret spot."

"We had a secret spot?" I interrupted him shortly. He looked to the side.

"Yeah…it was your favorite place near the lake." I didn't know why he sounded so sad suddenly again, but I thought that it actually sounded like me. So I ignored his facial expression.

"You were quite nervous that day, so I asked you what was wrong. You hopped up and down and told me you found something interesting. A cave. And you said you wanted to explore it. I was not sure to do it, but you just pleaded to go in there. So I followed you."

Goku interrupted himself and scanned the area before us. We stood on a small hill and a wide clear area was showing itself before us. A small hut was in the middle of the clearing. I wiggled myself out of his arms and stood beside him. The way he talked about me while it wasn't me made me feel uncomfortable.

"Do we have to go over there?" I pointed to the little house. I wondered what kind of animals awaited me as I couldn't see any. I frowned. Was he sure that this was the place where somebody could help us?

He nodded. Without taking my hand he breathed in deeply and walked on. I followed him.

"What happened in that cave?" I questioned him after a while.

"What?" he looked at me puzzled.

"The cave. You said you followed…me. What happened then?"

"Oh…you were so scared to actually go in there, so you just fainted because it was pitch black in there. I had to carry you the whole way back. You wouldn't wake up until we had reached the lake again." He grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

I smiled at him and dropped the topic. The situation was getting awkward. I looked at the scenery and enjoyed the last rays of the sun shining down on us. I closed my eyes for a short while.

And fell down.

God damnit! I so could be a klutz sometimes!

Goku burst out into a loud laugher and the atmosphere got lighter instantly. My nose lay flat in the dirt. His hands helped me up and – for the second time today – tidied up my dusted clothes. His lips on my forehead interrupted me while I was muttering to myself how stupid I was.

"Be careful on your way, Chi."

Walking past me and continued to go on. I tried to get rid of the blush on my cheeks as I tagged along again. Reaching him I grabbed his hand nonverbally and went beside him. No word was spoken after that until we reached the hut.

* * *

"I can't believe you got through this mess." The old woman poured some tee into little mugs and brought them to us. I warmed my hands on the cup and closed my eyes.

"I know." Goku smiled and sipped on the tea. The old woman looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"I never knew you got yourself a wife, Goku. What have I done to deserve this lack of information?"

I choked some tea and coughed it down. Wife?! Goku smiled.

"Baba, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we are not married." The look on Baba's face was showing disappointment nonetheless. Only to lighten up seconds after.

"So I still have the opportunity to witness your wedding?"

And again did I choke some tea. Goku drew soothing circles on my back as I couldn't stop coughing.

"Baba, we are not here to discuss something as trivial as that." She huffed but listened. "Then why are you here?"

"We need your help."

Her brows went up in wonder. "Balbo?"

Goku nodded with a serious look on his face.

"Oh I know that look." Baba stated with her raspy old voice. "You're up to something stupid again."

* * *

"She's…nice." I whispered into the darkness. Goku was somewhere to my right. It was too dark for me too actually see anything. I just could hear his breathing.

"She's an old lady with a strange hobby." Goku answered low. His voice shot shivers down my spine. I turned my head and tried to see anything but I couldn't.

"Goku." I tried to get his attention once more.

"What is it, Chi?" I heard his body shifting. I bit my lip. Did I really want to know what I was about to ask or not? I breathed out loudly.

"What?" He sounded worried now. I decided to keep it to myself and asked something different instead.

"What do you think awaits us in the shadow realm?"

He sighed and almost sounded a bit relieved that my question wasn't that complicated.

"How it looks after all those years, no idea. I guess the atmosphere is the same as it was before. I don't know why they do what they do. I never heard about war between our worlds or anything like that. Why they suddenly ambushed us is still a mystery to me. Baba, too said, that she had absolutely no idea what was wrong. No political issue was the reason for the attack. Or anything different."

"Do you think it was irresponsible of me to actually suggest going over there?" I chewed on my lip until it hurt and waited for his answer.

"No. Not really. I mean it absolutely is risky but it just so sounds like you…"

"You mean the me now, or the me in the past?" Before I realized that I was about to ask this, it had already left my mouth. Oh shit. I heard his struggle.

"Chi, I told you that you are still you. I don't make…any differences. The essential you – "

"Is still the same, I know." I interrupted him bluntly. "But it's just…the way you spoke about my former self makes me…jealous." I pouted.

Now I still said what I didn't want to say. Why couldn't I stop my mouth from moving? His low chuckle ringed in my ear and I suddenly recognized a shadow sitting up beside me. Baba's warehouse was definitely too dark at night. Why wasn't there a lamp in here?

The hay broke under Goku's weight as he moved himself nearer to me. Once his left arm was resting over my head and he could actually see my face I looked into his eyes.

"Hey…" I whispered and earned an "Hey" in return. "You think I'm stupid?" I wanted to know as he didn't say anything to my comment. "Because I actually got jealous of myself?"

"No. It's my fault for letting you feel insecure. I'm sorry." His fingers brushed through my hair.

"Then why did you look so sad?" I whispered. He sighed and closed his eyes and somehow I got the idea suddenly. "Did you hope I was…remembering anything after you have told me?"

"Chi, it's not that I hoped for something like that to happen…"

"So you did, didn't you?" I sat up and tried to read his gaze. Not that I was angry with him. I just didn't want him to pressure himself with such trivial things. As I didn't pressure myself with it, then why should he?

"I'm sorry." He apologized and I brought my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. He followed me a little as I retreated but he stopped himself kissing me a second time. I almost whined but was still focused on my next lines.

"Isn't it better to make new memories instead of thinking too long about the old ones? Don't get stuck in the past, Goku. I'm here and I'm not going to leave you ever again. Promise me not to dwell in anything that happened and focus on the things that are about to happen." I pleaded while leaning my forehead against his.

He sighed and encircled my body with his arms, bringing me closer to him. His warmth was engulfing me.

"I think I know now what it means to love somebody until it hurts." He whispered low as we stayed in our embrace for a long time. His lips only came down on mine sweetly for one time that night. And I felt like something very, very precious.

* * *

I wasn't sleeping that night at all and I felt Goku caressing my arm. He couldn't sleep either it seemed.

"You think Little One is waiting for us?" I disturbed the silence with my question. "In the shadow realm?"

"I guess. What is he….she…like?" I grinned at his confused question.

"I don't know what gender it has but it actually feels like a male. And he's very stubborn. It was him that wanted me to go to you. I actually had the plan to walk over to my old clan by myself and tell them to leave us the hell alone. But Little One pleaded me to take you with me. He likes you very much."

"I'm honored…the second shadow who actually likes me." I could hear his grin. "And it was very wise of him to stop you from going alone. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about you the whole time." He stopped caressing my arm and placed yet another kiss on my forehead before cuddling me in his arms. "But now I'm very worried about him. Maybe he wanted to stop them from attacking? You know…in the forest. Maybe he distracted them from us and now…" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'm sure he's alright. We will get him back. Don't worry."

After another silent hour I heard Goku's low breathing against my ear. "Goku?"

"Hn?" He hummed half asleep.

"What kind of animal is Balbo?"

The only answer I got before he fell asleep fully was his light chuckle.


	7. A new companion

**Six – A new companion**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Baba stood there with her stoic face and Goku grabbed my hand in order to prevent myself from fleeing. But my feet were frozen in place while looking at this grey, big monster in front of me! Baba fed her favorite with an apple and a piece of meat and touched the neck gently.

I didn't know what was more confusing. The fact that this thing ate apples and meat in combination, or that this thing was a great grey dragon, with four horns on its head looking straight to the sky. His nostrils were blowing constantly and I could feel his warm breath on my skin. Judging from my point of view he was about five meters long. So his wings had a wing-span of about seven to eight meters?

"I'm not going to ride on that thing." I blurted out. "I'm not going to sit on this – " I couldn't finish my sentence as said thing suddenly lowered his head down to me and sniffed my clothes on my stomach. The scales on his nose were shimmering in the sun and his nostrils brushed my hand.

I was absolutely ready to pass out now.

Goku patted the nose of Balbo as to distract him from me. Growling he pushed his entire nose into Goku's body and – did he just snuggle with him?

"Balbo might me big and looking dangerous." Baba explained beside me. "But he's the most peaceful dragon you will ever find in this world."

"I'm…delighted to hear that." I was so not happy about it!

"We will bring him back safely, Baba. Promise." Goku said while rubbing Balbo's forehead with his knuckles. You could hear how rough the skin of the dragon was.

"Be careful on your way." Was all Baba answered before she turned around and left us. I looked at her pleadingly not to leave me, but Goku already grabbed me by my waist and threw me on Balbo's back. I couldn't move even one muscle anymore. Gripping into Balbo's leather bridle I felt my nails going into my palms.

"You're ready?" Goku asked me already making Balbo glancing up and opening his wings. I just shook my head no. I wasn't ready. I never would be ready for something like this! And as the strength of his wings suddenly shook my whole body I screamed until no sound was coming from my lungs anymore. What lasted for exactly thirty seconds. And Balbo was still reaching for the sky.

Goku yelled at me with pure amazement in his voice. "Chi! You just absolutely have to see this!"

"I don't want to!" I was stubborn and kept my eyes close. I felt the piercing wind around my face and my fingers grew cold. I was shivering and then, suddenly I heard another loud flap of the wings and then….silence. The wind suddenly caressed my body almost lovingly although it was still cold. Wondering what just happened I opened my eyes and gasped unbelievingly.

"It's amazing, isn't it." Goku breathed in deeply right behind me. He stood on Balbo and navigated him perfectly with the bridle he was holding in his hands. I just breathed out a small "Wow!" as I watched the scenery right before me. The land was beautiful from above. Glancing to my right and my left I tried to suck up everything and made imaginary pictures in my head. Now that was something you just had to remember. Balbo was making a strange sound as if to say I was right. Birds were dancing around us and the clouds we touched were icy cold and tickled my skin.

I almost forgot what we were about to do and I enjoyed every second of it. Maneuvering the grey monster playfully, Goku let him do some little tricks which scared me…but nonetheless I giggled excitingly as it _was_ fun. Until we crossed some land that wasn't green anymore. Slowing Balbo down we watched the scene from above. A lone tear sneaked itself out of the corner of my eyes. This looked so sad…

I felt Goku tense up right behind me. "Let's keep on going." The only thing I could do while my eyes were still focusing the stony ground was nod.

We flew for about one and a half hour more. I dozed off sometimes and Goku kept silent the whole time. Landing in a place where Balbo had enough space yet wouldn't be seen by anyone Goku immediately started to search wood for a fire and haunted us something to eat. The supplies we got from Baba were already gone completely. Touching Balbo's nose – yes, I was trying to be less afraid – I watched Goku scuttle around.

"We're going to sleep in the open?" I questioned him and earned a smile that expressed his sorry.

"I guess…" he came across me and patted my head on the way. "You can take the blanket Baba got for you. It's in Balbo's backpack."

"And what about you?" I was confused as I only found one blanket at all. Goku got the fire started and looked up.

"I'm not going to sleep." He stated matter-of-factly as he stood up and gave Balbo an apple he found. Coming to his side I watched his profile glow from the fire and inclined my neck.

"Is everything alright? You look….stressed out." I tried to smile hopelessly but failed as I saw his expression. What a stupid question to ask, of course he was stressed out! I smacked my inner self and embraced the blanket in my arms a bit stronger. "You don't have to force yourself, you know." I half whispered and earned a confused look from him.

"Force myself? Into what?"

"You know…." I kicked a pine cone away as I answered him. "Don't smile at me when you don't want to smile. Don't tell me everything's alright when it's not. Don't hide…from me." My face met the blanket now and I spoke the rest quietly into the material. "It scares me more not to know what you think…"

"I'm sorry." His hand landed on my head and pulled me to his chest. I heard his heartbeat quicken the more silent he got and knew too well what that meant.

"You know, it's alright to be scared. We both don't know what might happen, so it's really okay to be afraid." I pushed my nose into his chest while his cheek landed on my head softly.

"I know…" he whispered. As if on cue Balbo pushed his hard nose into our sides, making us almost fall over. I giggled and patted his nose tenderly. Feeling Goku pat my head tenderly too I smiled up at him.

"Try to sleep for a while, I will keep watch." He told me while I looked at the setting sun through the trees. Days were quite short in this world I figured but shrugged it off. Making myself comfortable with the blanket I watched Goku from a laying position. He leaned against Balbo who had laid his head down on his claws and slept. Playing with a small piece of wood he looked into the distance.

"Goku." I took him out of his thoughts.

His onyx eyes gently landed on me. "Hn?"

"Can you tell me about the shadow realm? And how it looked? I don't want to gawk around first thing tomorrow once we're in there." I smiled. "Is there anything I need to know? Do I need to behave in a special way?"

"The only thing you have to know is to never leave my side once we're in there. As to the way this world looks….you'll have to see for yourself."

I groaned. "Don't tell me you want to shock me with the sight in order to make me remember. I thought we already discussed this…" I pouted.

He chuckled warmly. "No, but I don't want to tell you about the realm because I'm afraid it might look completely different now."

"Why should it look so different? It's not as if you haven't been there for, well….ages!"

He scratched the back of his spiky head with his left hand. "To be specific I haven't been there for almost 300 years."

"Say what?" I was sitting up at that information. "300 years? But that…I mean…how….what?! But you're just 3 years my senior what makes you 26 and not….326! You can't possibly tell me you searched for my former self for almost 300…" my words stopped in my throat as I saw his sad expression. "You did?" My voice broke down.

"I'm sorry…" he apologetically said while smiling and I had trouble keeping up with my brain. So that meant he had searched for 300 years for _me_ although _I_ practically existed only since 23 years. Or…have I existed in another life, too? How come my former relatives had the nerve to wait or watch over me for about 300 years only to keep me away from him? Was this to test Goku? To test if he really loved me the way he promised? Then why didn't they let me stay with him? It's obvious how much he must have suffered for all this time! I gulped as tears were forming in my eyes.

"So...you're over 300 years old." I tried to state matter-of-factly as the atmosphere became quite heavy. He laughed out loud.

"No, I'm not. I'm 26."

Alright, now that confused me. My face must have told him so because he explained further to me: "I'm remembering everything of my former lives. Each little detail. I remember it completely. I'm in my….7th life, to be honest."

"You're killing me with your honesty." I looked at him baffled. "Is this normal in your world?" I couldn't come up with a better explanation. He shook his head no and grinned.

"Not that I know."

"Then how come that you can do this?" I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed.

"I don't know that either." He sounded as if it was something funny and I was at a loss.

"So this means you were alone all the time and…searching for me? And you fight with my relatives ever since? Why in the world haven't you become tired of it! Why still looking for me?" I didn't understand his will of finding. I was honored but irritated at the same time. Because it meant I absolutely was to blame for his suffering all along!

He came to me, kneeling right in front of me and took my face into his hands. "Listen, Chi. The only thing that keeps me alive and doesn't make me tired of remembering my lives is the fact that you are still there. I always had hope to find you, you know."

"You never knew if I was actually really real…"

"You were and _are_ real to me…"

"But…you searched for so long." I whispered. He kissed my nose before he hugged me close. "And I found you at last, haven't I?"

"Your patience is abnormal…" I murmured and earned a light laugh. "Do you have family?" I curiously wanted to know? I wasn't jealous of anyone…I mean, seven lives, of course there had to be one woman in _his_ former lives as well!

"One brother. In my current life."

"Nothing more?"

"What should there be more?"

"Don't know….kids….wives…grandchildren…." my voice faded. He chuckled.

"No, nothing of that sort. I was too occupied in remembering you. And as I never found a woman close to your character I didn't end up with another."

"You're too faithful." I embraced him in a tight hug. "And still too honest…" Enjoying his warmth I slowly really started to get sleepy.

"I guess I should try to sleep now. " His kiss on my forehead was his silent signal that I was right. Grabbing his hand as he wanted to walk over to Balbo again I pleaded to him to stay with me until I fell asleep. "Keep me company, old man." I murmured and felt his hand on my head as he stroked my hair tenderly. But one question was still confusing to me.

"Goku?"

"Hn?"

"If you're reborn how come your name's not different? You told me I named you right the first time we met…but isn't it strange that I actually named you right although this is basically not your first name?"

"Actually "Goku" is my first name of all my lives. I remembered that as well."

"Oh….and what is your latest name?"

"Kakarott."

"….I definitely like your first given name more…." And with that I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day was quite hectic. Goku practically pushed me on Balbo's back while I was still half asleep. Opening my eyes I grabbed the bridle and watched Goku get everything ready before we took up into the air. Before I even realized that it was morning we had already reached final height. I yawned.

"Sorry for the sudden waking." He said behind me. I just rubbed my eyes and hummed a soft yes.

"Did something happen?" My question ended into another yawn.

"More or less." He looked down and narrowed his eyes. Not understanding what he meant I followed his gaze and watched animals flee from the forest and through the land, stamping over everything that came across their ways. "Oh…" was all I could say. These shadows were interfering in this world more and more. If this kept up, everything might come to an early end. I shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"No." I grinned into his face. "Do we have to travel long until we reach the city?"

"Just about one hour."

"That's quite fast, isn't it?"

"It certainly is." I heard his grin and enjoyed the pretty warm wind on my skin while travelling. Neither of us talked much, we were just too tensed up. Today I was going to see my old world. Today we might see a clue to what was happening around us. Today maybe Little One was coming to me again. Suddenly Goku slowed Balbo finally down and pointed below.

"There it is." I followed his outstretched finger. "Theli."

I gulped. So here it came.

Landing about 3 miles away from the center of the city, Goku signaled Balbo to fly home again.

"It's safer for him if nobody found him. In fact this guy here is the last of his kind. He should stay with Baba and look out for her. He's everything she has left." He explained to me while I was absolutely clueless why in the world he would send him away. Nudging Goku's stomach Balbo acknowledged the message and with strong wings-movements flew away from us. The beast left us and we were only two once again.

"And now?" I asked Goku as I grabbed his hand.

"Just stay close." Was all he said.

The city was – as to be expected – filled with people. A market was in the center of the plaza and I had to admit, it looked more like our city than I had expected. They were definitely in a modern century close to our 21st. They even had flying things that looked like cars! I nudged Goku who obviously had a goal as he was walking quite eagerly.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner that you're actually pretty modern?" I looked at everything and anything with wide eyes.

He smiled lightly. "It's not that I wanted to keep it a secret but the gap between cities and landscape is quite big. You see those?" he pointed to the wall, framing the city. "Keeping out the others and living an egoistical life is what my people can do best."

"I thought it was for protection."

"It is. But they only protect themselves not caring what's happening outside these walls."

"Did something happen in the past that makes you sure of that? Saying this sounds quite hypothetically." I felt his sudden change as he squeezed my hand he held a little stronger.

"There happened quite a lot, yes…and thinking about the shadows hovering above the land I guess even more might happen. Look at them, walking through here happily while everyone outside turns into stone. They don't even know what's about to come…" his voice got darker any second.

I stared at the people and felt sad all of a sudden. Goku was right…they had such carefree faces, they had no idea what was happening out there…

"That's quite unfair…" I murmured and earned a disapproving snort of Goku.

"That it is." He agreed irritated and kept on walking. There really must have had happened something in his past what was responsible for his grudge against the others. But I didn't want to ask him. It wasn't something I should stick my nose into.

After half an hour of clueless walking around in the city I spoke up again. "Goku, where is this portal you talked about? Aren't we going there or do you need something before we go?"

"No, we are going there. But I have to meet with someone beforehand who has the key to the portal. Otherwise we're going nowhere."

"The key? Is it locked up?"

"Indeed."

"But….how did you get through this if it's locked up in the first place?" I really didn't get it and he burst out into a delightful laughter.

"What's so funny about my question?" I felt my temper rise.

"Chi…." He poked my forehead. "The first time was 300 years ago…there wasn't even a city here! I found it just like I told you. But over the years more and more found it, as this special portal never closes. The more people disappeared into it, the more they got afraid of it. So they locked it up in order to maintain the peace in here."

Okay, that made sense….somehow.

"Didn't you use it in your former lives as well?"

"I…tried, but I failed the first two times. So I figured out it wasn't the right way. Ever since then I started to search for other portals. What obviously was quite the idea." He smiled at me as he squeezed my hand for one time.

"And how come you know where it is locked up now and why do you think someone opens it just because you want him to?" I questioned further and tried hard not to stick out my tongue at him. He only grinned.

"You'll see."

Turning into a small street we stopped suddenly before a small door. Goku knocked and didn't wait long before he just opened the door himself and pushed me in. I was too perplexed to even say one word. Well, mostly not because Goku was practically breaking in but a click near my ear and a cold thing on my temple was reason enough to shut me up.

"Who are you and what do you think you're doing…" a dark voice spat into my direction. I shivered until Goku spoke happily. Yeah right, happily…

I held back a sarcastic remark…

"Vegeta! It has been awhile." The metal thing on my temple didn't move an inch.

"Kakarott." Oh nice, at least Goku got greeted! "What are you doing here." Finally this guy let go of me and I hurried to Goku and hid behind his back. Absentminded he reached out for my arm and caressed my skin for a short moment before turning to this over-friendly man. His touch calmed me down immediately. Watching Vegeta light up a cigarette I stood where I was as Goku talked.

"It has been awhile, hasn't it?" he repeated.

"Six years." The smaller man took a step forward, blew out the smoke through his nose and fixed his eyes on me. I gulped. "I thought you were dead…Who is she?"

"Oh that's – "

"Don't tell me this is the girl you were talking about since we were kids. You searched for her the past years?"

Goku smiled a little. "Uh…you may say that."

"She's younger than I thought…" I felt kind of insulted although I was surprised that Vegeta accepted my presence without any questions. Was he a true friend then or was he mocking Goku? I narrowed my eyes and got my temper back as my fear vanished.

"Why are you here then? You're life's now finally how it should be, isn't it?" Vegeta's voice was full of venom. So no friend then, right?

"Not exactly. I'm here to question if – "

"The portal's gone." Vegeta informed us and flopped down on a chair, his feet crossing each other on the nearest table. "Nobody knows where it is."

"It's gone? Since when?"

"Three months." Another load of smoke filled the air. I turned away to flee from it and suddenly faced a wall full of pictures.

"Three months…that's the time when I got back…" Goku murmured to himself and I nearly crashed down as I saw a person on a picture I knew just too well. With shaky fingers I caressed the paper. Both men didn't pay much attention to me so I could freely be confused by myself.

"I heard about the incidents outside." Vegeta shared his wisdom. "That's the reason you wanted to go over there, wasn't it?"

"You've got me." Goku laughed.

"You have always been the kind to come to every ones rescue….makes me sick…"

"And you got yourself this job because you never believed in anything I said, right?" Vegeta ignored this comment. So those two were friends after all…although I didn't quite understand the way they were talking to each other. Must be a man-thing…

"I'm sorry…." I interrupted both of them and took their attention. "…but may I ask who's this?" I pointed at the person on the picture.

"You should tell her not to put her nose into other peoples businesses!" Vegeta hissed before he stood up and stomped over to me, taking the picture out of my hands. Goku answered for him. "Ah…you mean Buls."

"Buls?"

"Yeah that was the name of Vegeta's late wi-"

"Cut it out!" the shorter man roared. "Don't say her name! Don't even think about it!"

"She looks like a friend of mine…" I ignored this guy. He was too hypocrite. "And I mean she looks _exactly_ like her!"

"She's dead." Vegeta was furious now and I felt suddenly bad about asking.

"Oh…I'm…I'm sorry…" I looked at the smiling face again. I was so sure she was connected to Bulma somehow…I just knew…

"What do you want to do now?" Vegeta put the picture back to the wall and shot death-glares into my direction. "The portal's gone and shadows tyrannize our world." He looked at me again quite evilly. Did this guy think that I was responsible for this, or what?

"We have to search for a clue where this thing started." Goku suggested and I had trouble not to groan out in frustration. That meant walking the whole way back and even further, didn't it? But we sent Balbo away only hours ago!

_I can't believe this!_

"I will come with you." The shorter man said and surprised both of us as he grabbed his jacket and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm responsible for the portal. I lost my job because it got stolen but it still is my damn thing to decide weather someone can have it or not."

"He's quite stubborn, isn't he?" I whispered to Goku.

"Shut your mouth, woman." Vegeta hissed and I huffed.

"And beyond unfriendly…" I said loudly so he could hear that too. His murmured answer was incoherently and I was glad for this. Goku smiled apologetically at me and I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't care what this guy thought of me. I was with Goku and nothing else mattered.

Except the thing with the picture and Little One and the shadows…alright, there was quite a lot going on right now.

Once we were outside again Vegeta already waited for us in a vehicle that looked like a shuttle? Now I knew what Goku meant when he said the difference between city and land was too big. Crawling in clumsily I flopped down on a seat and waited for Goku to sit down as well.

"Quite an interesting outcome, isn't it?" I blurted out without thinking and showed just how scared I actually was. I had no idea what was about to come. Not that I ever have had an idea…

"Hn." Was all Vegeta had to say. Goku looked tensed into his direction. And as he started to drive I actually got a very bad feeling myself.

* * *

The following nights I was unable to sleep. We had travelled quite a distance and the only land welcoming us now was pure stone. It made me shiver and….to be honest the more we got into the deserted land the more I felt sick. I kept it a secret from Goku as I didn't want him to worry. He had other things on his mind right now. I promised him to concentrate on saving his world first. My own problems were coming after that.

At first I thought it was because I didn't like Vegeta and felt uncomfortable around him but the more we neared ourselves whatever we were searching for, the more I felt ill.  
When suddenly the bells started to ring again, as if to welcome me, I knew something was going on. I knew we were close to our destination.

Maybe they really were just happy to see me again or to have me near them. But I got afraid they might do something to the other ones once they found out where exactly we were. Goku and Vegeta were becoming more silent then ever the more we stepped into unknown area. They were very careful what only strengthened my thesis that something went wrong.

One night, when everybody was sleeping and I couldn't as the ringing was slightly driving me mad I stood up. Alerted, Goku grabbed my hand and surprised me with his attack. I looked at him.

"Where are you going?" he asked quite unsure of what to think of my nightly wandering.

"Goku, I'm only human, too. Nature's calling me even in the middle of the night." I smiled at him as he got the information slowly. Going up to my tiptoes I pressed a quick peck on his lips and turned around, thinking he was released from his worries for now. But his grip didn't loosen at all. Instead he swung me around with a strong movement and pressed me into his chest in a tight hug. My hands touched his back automatically.

"Goku, what's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?"

"I should be asking you that…"

My eyes widened. Did he…knew? "Why…why would you say this?" I tried to make a joke out of it. "I just need to pee, that's nothing abnormal." I chuckled.

"I didn't mean that, Chi." His nose met the crook of my neck. "You haven't been sleeping since four days. Is something bothering you?"

"Oh you…were spying on me?" His lips on my neck made me jump a little. I was used to get small kisses from him but not in that place! Lifting his head from my shoulder he looked into my eyes desperately. He really was worried about me.

"Goku, it's normal to be nervous, isn't it?" I tried to reason. "The both of you are unsure of the things happening around us, too. And as I have absolutely no idea what's going on I'm unable to keep my mind silent."

He didn't look as if he believed me. Caressing his cheek I pressed another light kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Don't be worried. I'm fine as long as I'm with you. Just concentrate on saving your world. I will wait for you patiently until the both of us can just start to finally be together. You waited for 300 years so I'm able to wait for a few weeks more, aren't I?" I grinned and inclined my neck playfully.

"I think you might be right." He finally smiled at me before he loosened the grip around my waist yet he stopped himself from letting go entirely as he looked at something behind me. I became impatiently. "Goku…I really have to go…"

"Alright….be careful."

After seconds he let me go, brushing one time over my eyebrow gently, but stood there unmoving as I disappeared between the rocks looking at him with my red face every now and then. Once I got out of his sight the only thing I knew next was walking right into a black carpet of fog.


	8. A sign of the past

**Seven – A sign of the past**

My head hurt when I regained consciousness. What probably was absolutely normal. Whose head wouldn't hurt after being knocked out abruptly? Although I wasn't knocked out due to a blow to my head, I somehow recollected what happened to me. And the only thing that came to my mind was the color _black_.

"Oh those bastards…" I murmured furiously to myself before I pushed my body up into a sitting position.

"Goku?" I slightly tried to yell for him. Basically out of instinct. "Vegeta?"

My inner self told me that it was pointless to search for them but I was stubborn enough to try it nonetheless. As it was still rather dark my eyes had problems adjusting to the dim light that came through. I had no idea where I was. I only suggested _who_ was responsible for it. Gritting my teeth I couldn't help but get mad.

"Alright, I've had enough!" my voice echoed through the room. Well, I guessed it was a room although I couldn't see any walls. Standing up on wobbly feet I pressed my nails into my palms until it hurt.

"You hear me? I've had enough! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of you and your stupidity! What in the world is wrong with you? Stop interfering! Stop turning everything into stone! Just stop it and leave us the hell alone! God damn it!"

If depression was to have a face it would have looked like mine at that moment. Looking around panicky as I didn't get any answer I tried to look for an exit. There had to be one. As a distraction I continued talking while walking up and down like a maniac.

"300 years. You've held your grudge over 300 years. How about moving forward? It's no wonder my former self was turning its back on you. You behave like total idiots! Crying over the past…we're not in kindergarten! Your ability to love is greater than from any other creature; that was what Goku told me. Well then start to use this emotion the right way! The only thing you can do is being awfully selfish! Now let me out of here!"I shrieked at the top of my lungs by now before a sudden exhaustion grabbed my legs and took my strength away. Slumping down I held in a sob.

"Let me out…"

Yet absolutely nothing happened. I lay down on my side questioning myself what Goku was doing right now. Would he search for me like crazy once again? Was he mad at me for not being careful? Stifling yet another sob I closed my eyes tiredly.

"Why are you so sad?" A child-like voice wanted to know right beside me and I looked into two big green eyes. I sniffled as I absolutely was sure to get crazy. My mind was imagining a child now? Oh great...

I answered still, quite frustrated. "Because I can't get out."

"Why do you want to get out?" It inclined its neck and looked at me puzzled.

I smiled hysterically. "Well, I don't like being imprisoned at all."

"Why are you being imprisoned? Did you do something bad?" Now these green eyes grew even larger.

"I don't know why I'm here. That's why I want to get out!"

_Why am I even talking to you?! You're just an imagination anyway…_

The child thought about that really hard. "I don't understand that."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud one time hysterically. "Yeah, I do neither."

Coming into a sitting position once again I ruffled my hair shortly, trying to ignore the illusion.

"What is that?" said illusion suddenly pointed at my face. Brushing with my fingers over my cheeks I noticed that I was crying. Oh hallelujah...now I was even shedding tears without noticing it.

"Tears..." I muttered to myself as I felt the water on my fingertips.

"That means you're crying?"

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Why?"

"You're rather noisy, aren't you?" I scolded the small boy that sat right beside me as if nothing was serious at all. That brat. I ignored him and stood up again, ready to search for an exit once more. Yet as I was walking around, those small feet kept following me.

"Could you stop that?" I turned around angrily. "You're getting on my nerves."

"Stop?" he didn't get what I meant.

"To follow me! Go back to where you came from!"

_What would be my head!  
_  
"To where I came from?" What was he? A dictation machine? My temper was slightly taking control now and I had the urge to slap my face awake from this nightmare!

"Look. I don't have the time to play with you, okay? I'm quite in a pinch right now and my friends are out there probably searching for me. Wherever this "out there" might be. I'm scared, lost and am not in the mood to take care of you, too. My relatives kidnapped me from my beloved although I have no idea why they did that. And now I'm here in this foggy and indescribable place without any orientation at all!"

_And to top it all off I'm even speaking to a child, my imagination created!  
_  
"You sound angry."

"I _am_ angry!"

"Then why is it that you can't stop crying?"

Taken aback by his words I tried not to hiccup out loud as a sob crawled up my throat. Sniffling I didn't even really notice that I was rubbing my teary eyes constantly. He was right, I _was_ crying the whole time. Ever since I awoke from this I had been brushing away those tears that clung to my cheeks with small movements. I looked at the clear green eyes of the boy who stood before me. Why wasn't he affected by it if I was feeling this strange sensation in here?

"What is this place?" I whispered with a water filled voice.

"The grief."

* * *

"Chi!" a hard slap on my cheek and I opened my eyes for the second time. Gasping for air I blinked a few times before I was able to stabilize my sight only to look into onyx eyes I knew quite well. Looking right and left I obviously was back and somehow escaped this strange place although I again had no recollection of my memory.

"What happened?" I wanted to know and winced as my cheek stung wildly. "Ow…."

"I'm sorry that I had to slap you, but you just wouldn't wake up otherwise." His voice was full of worry. "You weren't coming back so I searched for you. You were lying on the ground and…" he hugged my body in a tight embrace while his nose pressed strongly into the crook of my neck. "I'm so glad you're alright…"

Ignoring the pain on my face I hugged him back just as fierce as I felt his body shiver. Goku, afraid?

"I'm sorry…" I whispered. "I'm sorry…" I didn't want to frighten him.

I didn't know how long we were sitting in this position, holding each other until our hearts beat at the same steady rhythm but at some point one question bugged me.

"Where's the boy?"

Looking at me puzzled his thumb caressed the corner of my mouth soothingly. "Boy?"

"You know…the one who was with me. Green eyes, brown hair, about ten years old?"

"There's no boy here." Cradling my face he kissed my forehead and my nose. "You must have dreamt that."

"A dream?" I frowned. No….this felt too real to be a dream.

Brushing over my eyes gently Goku got rid of my remaining tears before he embraced me once again. "Hn…you were tossing around and cried constantly."

"But Goku…to be able to dream one must sleep. I wasn't sleeping here. Something knocked me out." I tried to wiggle myself free from his comfortable warmth until I could look him into his eyes again. "And the both of us know just who must have done that."

Hearing him inhale and exhale the air audibly was more than I needed.

"Did they do anything to you?" he wanted to know with a low voice showing a hint of anger.

I shook my head no. "Not really. They just brought me to a place where there was no light. No sound. No nothing. It was cold, and dark and…sad. Oh Goku, everything was just so sad! This feeling was filling me up completely and all I could do was cry!" His hand brushed over my head before I leaned against his shoulder.  
"The boy….the boy probably helped me not getting insane and he told me…he told me that this place was '_the grief'_. Goku, I have no idea what he meant with that…but although he probably was something I just imagined…why wasn't he able to escape with me? Why wasn't he able to…?"

"Maybe he can't escape from there."

"But what was this place? Why would a small boy be trapped in there?"

"I don't know…" he caressed my back lightly.

The sound of rolling stones on stone let our both heads turn around. Vegeta leaned against a rock nonchalantly and lit up a cigarette. Blowing out the smoke slowly he fixated me with his eyes before he spoke.

"You're done with your lovey-dovey chit-chat?"

"We weren't lovey-dovey…." I pouted as Goku helped me standing up. The sun had started rising some moments ago and now bathed us in an orange-yellow glow. Unfortunately Vegeta's glare wasn't illuminated by it as he kept staring at me.

"Stop looking at me like that." I demanded angrily as I definitely had experienced enough for today already. Not answering me Vegeta snipped away his cigarette with a light growl before he stepped towards me like a predator. Feeling Goku tense up as he slightly stepped in front of me we both watched Vegeta, awaiting him and questioning us what in the world was wrong with him now.

I knew he didn't like me, but he didn't have to threaten me, too! I haven't done anything to piss him off so why was he behaving so odd this morning? Still sending his death glares towards me he kneeled down beside us looking at the place I had been laying on.

"What is the meaning of this?" his low voice cut the air.

"What is the meaning of what?" I wanted to know irritated. This guy wasn't the only one who could get in a bad mood! Turning around my next words kept stuck in my throat.

"That is…" Goku began to talk but was unable to form the words. The three of us just continued staring to the ground. That was…grass?  
All of a sudden a hand came around my neck and pulled me up. Choking I looked at the angry face of Vegeta.

"What did you do?" he hissed at me. Before I could answer that I didn't know, Goku already pulled me away from his friend as he punched him with one blow about fifty meters away from us. Quite in a shock I couldn't believe any of this!

_What in the world is going on?!_

Chuckling darkly, Vegeta spat his saliva on the ground before he grinned at Goku. "So, you're using your strength even against me, huh, Kakarott?"

"I'm sorry for the sudden blow but I can't allow you to treat her like that." Goku said while pressing my shivering figure against his body.

"Well then how do you explain that?" pointing at the grassy spot that suddenly appeared, Vegeta roared angrily.

"I can't explain it. But I know Chichi didn't do this on purpose."

"You do? Well I don't think so. That woman's one of them!"

"She _was_! She's only human now. She can't control their power as she doesn't possess it anymore."

Now I was even more confused then I already had been. What were they talking about? What power did they mean? Why was Vegeta thinking I had done that? What if I had done that? Did it have something to do with the place I had been to?

"And still something like this happened!" Vegeta darkly spoke while still glaring at me.

Goku inhaled deeply before looking at me with a softer gaze. "Chi…can you explain what happened?"

I just shook my head no. I had absolutely no idea. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. "But I didn't do anything, I swear. I was, as I told you, in that place and when I woke up I was talking to you. Whatever happened between that time I don't know."

Vegeta was standing about 4 feet away from us, growling. "So, woman." He addressed me. "You're telling us you didn't do anything yet you say you met someone and nobody of us except you was able to meet him?"

I growled at him. "And as I said additionally, I have no idea how I did get to him and that place! So don't let your frustration out on me!"

"Truth spoken: you are the only one they want to communicate with." He narrowed his eyes yet again. "What makes you either an enemy…"

"Stop it, Vegeta." Goku demanded low yet he got ignored as the shorter man continued his sentence. "…or an useful tool."

"We are not going to use her in order to lure them out, Vegeta!" Goku got louder by now. His strong voice echoed through my body but I wasn't able to enjoy the sensation as a cold feeling crawled up my spine. Vegeta was right. I was the only one they communicated with. They could have just taken me away, yet I was still here with Goku. I was wondering about that outcome all along. Why didn't they take me with them? Why showing me this place only to let me tell them about it? Was this a trap? Or a cry for help? Was it even them?

"The boy…" my thoughts were circulating by now. "…that boy must be connected to this somehow."

"What do you mean?" Goku looked at me worriedly.

"I'm not sure." I shook my head lightly. "But he looked as if he needed help." I gulped. "My help." Looking at the grass for some seconds another idea hit me. "Maybe they're stuck in there and can't get out. That's why they turn everything into stone. This said _grief_ is probably dominating their heads and they can't control their doing anymore. Maybe that boy was unaffected by it because he was simply too young. Think about Little One. He was the only one not following his clan. And as I was feeling their desperation in there, the boy was just looking like a lost puppy. That's why he was probably able to call me unintentionally. And maybe my appearance in there triggered something to change." I pointed at the grass. "And that's what happened then."

"Your fantasy's quite wild." Vegeta snorted and I huffed.

"Well sorry for even having a idea! Or do you have a better explanation, Sherlock?"

"My name's Vegeta."

_Oh what do I care?!  
_  
"So that boy might come to you again?" Goku squeezed my waist a little as the information I just gave him went into his head.

"Probably…" I agreed feeling quite scared as I hoped it wouldn't be so. Hopefully I was really just imagining it and there was another explanation for all of this.

Feeling Vegeta pass me suddenly I looked at him startled as he whispered to me. "I hope you know whose side you're on if anything like this happens again…"

As if there ever was another side to begin with!

Feeling the burn on my skin from Goku's slap I held my hurting cheek as I glanced at him once we were alone again. "You hit me pretty hard…" I noticed with a small smile. "You should try to control your strength already. You had 300 years to do so. Although you looked like you were holding back as you pushed Vegeta away."

Looking rather embarrassed Goku blinked at me in confusion. "You…weren't surprised by it?"

"Let's say I had a feeling." As I saw his hopeful eyes I held up my finger in order to stop him from speaking. "And no, I have not remembered anything from the past so don't even think about asking that. I figured it out by myself."

Closing his mouth he gazed at me even more embarrassed, if possible.

* * *

The sun now was standing higher and allowed us to travel forward once again as our journey seemed endless to me what actually could have been due to the fact that we were travelling by foot now as the ground was to uneven to "drive" on it. I almost forgot why we were travelling at all ever since I had to walk...

The ill feeling I had days before had gone ever since I came back from that grey place and the bells weren't ringing at the moment. I felt quite relaxed although I began to understand my role in all of this mess. I was lucky I was some sort of help….but I didn't want to be responsible for any of this either.

At first I thought this wasn't connected to me and Goku. But now I had the unsure feeling it probably still did. Not that it was entirely because of us, but it definitely had something to do with me and my existence.

My cheek had stopped hurting once I pressed something cool on it, now I only had Goku's fingers as a red tattoo gracing my face. He was so going to pay for this…

Vegeta stopped talking to me completely, but I was glad about that. Other than this everything was just as it was before. Everybody awaited something big, but nothing occurred so far.

* * *

In the following three almost boring days nothing unexpected happened either, sadly. Well, except for Goku clinging to me while sleeping every night. Not that I didn't like sleeping beside his warmth. I just somehow had the feeling he was just afraid I might vanish again.

And the more we moved forward the more he went emotionally away from me although his eyes followed me all the time. I had no idea what his problem was but it felt as if he was thinking about something. Maybe even someone...was this place connected to my former self somehow? He behaved so very strange and still, he kept following me nonstop and I felt my temper rise as my stress-level reached it's peak.

"Don't you think your exaggerating?" I snapped at him as I couldn't take it anymore.

"Doing what?" he wanted to know clueless.

I sighed as I finished my "business" and stepped out of the shadow of yet another strange looking stony figure what might have been a bush in its previous life.  
"Well…." I started to explain while throwing my hands in the air. "…you won't let me even pee in peace!"

"But we have to be careful. What if you get knocked out again?"

"And then what? You jump around the corner to witness me laying there half naked while my pants pool around my feet and get soaked by my urine? Oh yeah, how thoughtful of you! That's exactly the position I want you to meet me in! What a view that must be!"

"You shouldn't think about something as trivial as that!" he scolded me – with a light blush covering his face. Goku actually had the nerve to scold me _and_ blush at the same time!

"Well, but I _am_ thinking about something like that! I don't want the person I love to see me in this state, okay? Don't make that face! I know this isn't easy and I know the situation is quite dangerous but for god's sake, I'm still a girl who thinks about stupid stuff like that! And you seeing me like that is _not_ an enjoyable thought at all!"

Stomping away from him I slightly growled when I heard his footsteps behind me.

"Really Goku, stop it!"

Just when he grabbed my wrist and held me in place my outburst got interrupted by Vegeta. "Kakarott." Our heads turned to him. "See this."

Letting go of my arm Goku looked at me puzzled and then followed Vegeta to wherever. Mumbling to myself I followed them as well as I didn't want to be the only one left out. Yes, I know…my stubbornness isn't one of my best points but it still was part of me.

My breath stuck in my throat when I saw what Vegeta wanted us to see. It took us half an hour to wander the stony ground until we reached the end of the bolder. A wide clearing lay before us and in the middle of said clearing pulsated a big blackish fog that stretched itself endlessly over the land.

"The grief." I automatically whispered as my eyes roamed over the wavering wall. I didn't know if I was right, I just had the feeling I had been here before.

Goku had tensed up as soon as we got up here. Holding his breath his muscles on his arms flexed as he gripped his hands into fists.

"I know this place." He whispered as he analyzed the area. "I knew I know this place…"

And just as he said that I got knocked out by something again like days before and broke down into total darkness while a voice whispered to me I should come to her…

* * *

Different than the first time, sunlight welcomed me as I opened my eyes again holding my hurting head. At first I thought I really just have been unconscious but as soon as I stood up and could hear the ocean's waves I knew I was not with Goku and Vegeta anymore.

Mentally kidnapped within four days? I was absolutely hitting a world record here! My mind was somewhere different while my body and face got probably abused by Goku's hand again.

Sighing irritated and turning around I surprisingly recognized that I was still in the same place, although it was just my mind standing on the cliff. The clearing where the fog was seconds ago seemed to be an ocean. The salty wind blew through my clothes warmly.

So this was what it looked like before it turned into stone?

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" a female voice wanted to know and I looked to my left only to see someone sitting there, her gaze entirely on the blue carpet. Her black hair covered her face and I was unable to see her clearly but her voice had something familiar. Stepping towards her I totally forgot to give her an answer.

"I always come up here to calm my mind down." She continued as I neared myself more and more. She didn't even care. "Although I shouldn't even be here."

_Well, yeah,_ _that should be my line…_

She chuckled softly before she turned her face finally towards me with a sad smile.

I almost forgot how to breathe.

"You know…" she stood up, dusting off her pants. "…I did something awfully stupid. And now I have to pay for my mistake. Or should I say…"  
Now we stood nose to nose and I was absolutely at a loss.  
".._we_ have to pay for my mistake."

"That is impossible…." I breathed out as I had found my voice again.

"I know…looking at yourself feels strange, doesn't it?"

"You should be dead." Before I even realized what I was about to say that sentence had already left my mouth.

"I know." _My self _looked to the ground sadly. "But somehow I'm here. I've been here always. And I've been watching you and Goku the whole time."

"Why? Why searching for me now?" I whispered while tears already ran down my chin. _My self _ shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't search for you. I felt you and thought I might call for you as you are my other half. I didn't think it would actually work."

Ignoring her last sentences as I didn't want to sound like a _thing_ I shook my head in disbelief.

"Why not leaving this place if you can summon someone? You had the opportunity to, didn't you?"

"I don't know."

"Then why didn't you try?" I desperately wanted to know.

"I don't know..."

"That is just so...I can't...I don't...argh!" I wanted to shake her awake but was too afraid to touch her. Such a behavior was implausible to me! I couldn't help myself but I didn't like _me_!

Trying not to hyperventilate I closed my eyes and breathed out calmly. "Okay…." I tried to be cool. "Okay..."

_My_ light chuckle let me open up my eyes again. "You're funny."

"I'm not! And to be accurate you're basically insulting yourself!"

"Well, basically, yes. But as I had another childhood then you did, my characteristics are slightly different to yours. We might be the same person but at the same time we're not."

I huffed. "Well, that's probably the first thought the both of us share…" Crossing my arms after cleaning my face free from the tears I thought hard. "But I still wonder why you are here if you might have the opportunity to come back to…" I didn't want to finish my sentence as I felt a hurt crawl over my heart. I winced inaudibly.

"You know, for the last 300 years I was trying to get an explanation for my purpose being here." _My self_ began to speak. "I'm sure it's my punishment for betraying my family...and Goku. But my mind would always stop working once I recollect my last memories."

"Memories?"

"Yes. The last thing that comes to my mind is me laying on the ground, bleeding, hearing someone whisper to me and then eternal darkness. Everything after that is…" _my_ hand pointed to the area. "..this. And nothing else. Except for my dreams sometimes where I see him."

I knew exactly who she meant with "him". My heart ached a little as her information went into my head. Her radiating smile was like a fist in my face.

"What..." did I really want to know although it will probably hurt me? I gulped down audibly.

_Chichi, do not be a coward! _

"What happened to you that time?"

"Oh that..." she smiled sadly. "...That's quite a long story."

"I'm willing to hear it."

"You will not like it."

"I don't care..."

_I really don't._

Sighing she shook her head with a smile. "I don't remember being so stubborn."

"Well sorry, maybe that's just me and not you!"

"You could be right with that… Well, maybe talking about it will help me get over my sadness." Her gaze flew over the ocean once again as I was looking at _my_ profile impatiently...

"That time, the both of us wanted to marry. I wanted to run away with him just after he had proposed to me but he would just look at me sadly and tell me it wouldn't be fair towards my parents. As he had no family except for his grandfather he was thinking about my position in my family all the time. He cared more than I did. And wouldn't stop pestering me until I agreed to tell them about us. Did you know that he has special powers different to others?"

I nodded. "Yeah...he's awfully strong. I figured out that much..."

"Oh yes, although "awfully strong" doesn't even describe his true strength."

It was hard to control myself not to yell she shouldn't comment on my phrases. I wasn't a kid that needed a lecture. I was a woman who wanted to know the truth. So I listened.  
_  
_"I knew what the real reason behind special powers was and so did my family as soon as they saw him. Yet Goku didn't know and probably still doesn't...and that's the reason I didn't want to tell them about him. I knew they would permit the marriage..."

"The real reason behind his strength?"

"It's about his origin. He's not from his dimension. His grandfather was not his grandfather. He was no son of his clan."

"Where's he from then?"

"His dimension's long gone. He's probably the last one living of his species."

She talked about him like he was some random thing you want to add to a collection. I growled.

"Is that the reason he's living alone now? But he's been reborn in this dimension, why is he still different to the others?"

"I guess his essential him is still the one he was from the very first beginning…He can't change it."

"So that's the reason he's making himself responsible for your death?"

A lone tear sneaked its way out of her eye. "It's my fault that he's suffering..."

"But that doesn't explain why you died!"

"As a shadow being you're unable to abandon the one you truly love and must either die by force or you wither away like a flower without the sun and the water. And Goku was my sun... And I...was too scared to think about dying a slow death without him! So I killed myself...I ran away… from the pain."

"You denied the love you felt for him because you were scared although you knew it would pain him seeing you die instead." I stated in a whisper and couldn't help myself but hate me even more. How irresponsible!

She nodded with her tear stained face lightly.

"And that's why I'm being punished! For 300 years I have been stuck in here. I'm unable to die and I'm unable to wither away like a flower. I'm timeless as the world continues moving."

"And you looked at Goku ever since?"

"I always hoped he would come to find me...but instead of me he had found you." Her eyes looked empty as she watched me.

Stepping back slowly I heard my heart beat wildly. For 300 years...stuck in here. Goku was searching for her for 300 years. He lived just as long as she was staying here. He was sure she wasn't dead. He loved her so much as to believe she was alive somewhere.

But he had found the wrong person!

They were connected to each other...and they still are! Although I absolutely disliked _my self _ I couldn't stop but feel pity. She was very different from me. And yet…both of us loved him.

It had always been her, hadn't it? It never was me in the first place. I was just a shadow formed from her! She was still here as I was talking to her obviously. _I_ was still alive! And for all those years Goku had searched for her as she had waited for him!

Clutching the spot over my heart I gulped down the sorrow.

"Thank you for listening to me but we should bring you back, this is not the place you should be." She suddenly said and laid her hands on my shoulders. Feeling _my_ cold hands I looked into _my _eyes.

"I'm sorry for suddenly dragging you here. I was horribly selfish and didn't even think about your feelings. You should get back to him and do what I was unable to do in my place."

I felt how much she cared for Goku what made me awfully jealous and angry as she just saw me as a simple replacement! Was this what Goku thought all along, too? Was he seeing me or was he just using me for her?

Trying not to burst out furiously I gripped my hands until my nails cut into my palms, forced a fake smile on my face and nodded simply.

I just wanted to get back as soon as possible and settle my doubts although her words nagged me. Was it really alright for me to be here? Did I have the right to keep Goku to myself? Wasn't it her right to begin with?

_I think I'm about to do something stupid…_


End file.
